Safety Not Guaranteed

Today I was at a screening and Q & A with the director, screenwriter and Aubrey Plaza (April Ludgate) for the film Safety Not Guaranteed, and yes, Aubrey in person is exactly like her character in Parks and Rec.

The film was surprisingly emotional and really keeps you guessing until the very end. I highly recommend it. It's an indie film, but I think they said it will release in theaters in June.

Favorite Songs of 2011

Who's more of a douche, Mike Love or the douche who follows him? #nobrainers #kingdouche #therecanbeonlyonebit.ly/yYSNyq

— Cokemachineglow (@cmgzine) February 17, 2012

Missed the cut: Drake ft. Rick Ross - "Lord Knows"


Bonus:
Robyn mashed-up with Whitney Houston (RIP)


Honorable Mention: Toby Keith - "Red Solo Cup"


Runner Up: Charli XCX - "Nuclear Seasons"



10. Cold Cave - "The Great God Pan is Dead"

9. EMA - "Grey Ships"



8. My Morning Jacket - "Circuital"


7. Das Racist - "Booty in the Air"


6. Nicki Minaj - "Superbass"


5. Britney Spears [ft. Nicki Minaj & Ke$ha] - "Till the World Ends (The Femme Fatale Remix)"


4. Wilco - "One Sunday Morning (Song for Jane Smiley's Boyfriend)"


3. Jamie xx and Gil-Scott Heron - "I'll Take Care of U" (which Drake & Rihanna jump on to great success)




2. Watch the Throne - "Why I Love You"



1. Holy Ghost! - "Jam for Jerry"


ps for the preservation of my friendship with Ian, I will not include Katy Perry - "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)" I cannot. or Avril Lavinge - "What the Hell" no way.

Favorite TV of 2011

Missed the Cut: The Layover
Honorable Mention: The Office
Runner-up: No Reservations


10. The Good Wife
9. Game of Thrones
8. 30 Rock
7. Downton Abbey
6. Archer
5. Justified
4. Boardwalk Empire
3. Parks & Recreation
2. Mad Men (placeholder for Breaking Bad)
1. Community

Favorite Films of 2011

Going to see Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy and The Artist this week fingers crossed. click the link for Scott's a-tad-more-authoritative list.

Missed the cut: The Ides of March

Honorable Mention: The Descendents got to me. feel like I've been to Hawaii

Runner-Up: 50/50 for hosting some great Rogan moments and making Seattle look habitable.

10. Terry: John C. Reilly>Clooney in the head-to-head of lost husbands shipwrecked among youths
9. Drive: Action hasn't looked so good since.....
8. Everything Must Go: Along with Stranger than Fiction, Ferrell reveals himself as a more compelling dramatic lead than Penn
7. Moneyball: feel like I should mention Jonah Hill, if only because I'm shouting out every other schlub I love
6. Another Earth: Gorgeously captures fall, winter and spring in Connecticut. hottest high school janitor ever
------->The Artist<-------
------->Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy<-------
5. Green Hornet: Seth Rogan can deliver a goddamn line. It helps when he writes them.
4. The Muppets: Jason Segel is a boss. you know the through-line of friendships just drifting away unless you work at them got to me.
3. Midnight in Paris: Indulgent yet light on it's feet
2. Tree of Life: too beautiful for words. I wanted to spend ages in the Texas Malick made. would have bought admission for a third time, but I dreaded the Penn scenes. They probably weren't that bad, but when they yank you out of a summer twilight in the 60's that puts Mad Men to shame...
1. Bridesmaids: never laughed so much in a theater AND it dealt with middle-class poverty in a real way.

Favorite Albums of 2011

Comically late. Still playing lots of catch-up resulting from being computer-less for 10 months of the year. Time and tide wait for no man.

Missed the Cut: Drake- Take Care
Honorable Mention: Hilarious- Louis C.K.
Runner-Up: Street Halo EP- Burial

10. Relax- Das Racist
9. Circuital- My Morning Jacket
8. Civilian- Wye Oak
7. Collapse Into Now- R.E.M.
6. Born This Way- Lady Gaga
5. 808's and Dark Grapes- Main Attrakionz
4. Native Speaker- Braids
3. Watch the Throne- Watch the Throne
2. Past Lives Martyred Saints- EMA
1. Bon Iver, Bon Iver- Bon Iver

Album of the Year, Y'all

ps
jk

Yo Pat, You Survive?

How was waterboarding bro?? Was it worse than the HALF of a habenero fritter that almost killed ya?

speaking of, guess which three studs completed the Salvadore Molly's Great Balls of Fire habenero pepper eating championship and are now enshrined on the Wall of Flame?:

THESE FELLAS {note: I look slightly better on the official picture. Mike looks just as handsome. Tim looks like he's gonna ralph on our shoes}

EDIT EDIT EDIT!! Magda found our immortalized mugs!

ps I heard this song for the first about this time last year. It became the mantra that got me thru the toughest times. maybe it can do the same for you:



love you knuckleheads

pps
my new anthem? I AIN'T TURNING DOWN NOTHING BUT MY COLLAR, YOU SEE

New Zealand knows what's up

B-Roy

The sad news came the other day that brandon roy is retiring after five short years. For fans of the trailblazers, this was a very sad day. However, i can't help but feel that this was a sad day for all basketball fans. B-roy was a player from the old school days. Sure he could give you the dunk and the flashy plays. But he preferred the off hand lay-up, the super smooth crossover, or his ever deadly elbow jumper. Anyone who was a fan of basketball was a fan of B-Roy.

But what had an even greater effect than his on-court contributions, was his effect on the fan base. B-Roy led the blazers out of the jailblazer era to where we are now. He single handedly again made the rose garden one of the most feared place for an opposing team to visit. He revived rip city. And it wasn't just the talent that brought the fans back. Zach randolph is a very talented player, but he never attracted the fans like roy. It's the way roy played the game.

I am including a video of what nbatv considers to be the top ten plays of roy's career. I don't agree with the list but i think it does show off his elite athleticism and coldblooded clutchness.





For me personally, here are the top four...



Does anyone realize how hard that is? There's a reason no one has done it since mj.

My third favorite moment i couldn't find a video for. It was the denver game when he hit the winning shot and then blocked carmelo at the buzzer. He could also play defense when he wanted. Here's an unrelated video but still awesome.



Number 2



How many times have you seen a guy hit a game winning shot twice in the last two seconds?

And finally, number 1




This video still gives me goosebumps. And he had no cartilege in his knees! For me personally, he is to date my favorite blazer. I find it hard to put into words how much he meant to me as a fan...He re-energized a fan base and made the blazers relevant again. So for that I say thank you, and Brandon...we'll miss you.

Noah turns 1!

Love Triangles Hurt Roundly: PSA

I LOVE IAN

BUT I ALSO LOVE PAT

???

OH NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES!