Sunday, January 02, 2005

Fine, I've changed the title, happy?

For those of you who have seen "Sky Captain," you know that green, sick, mutant thing who only wants to die? I now know how he must have felt. The reason: I took it upon myself to watch "The Star Wars Holiday Special." You heard me right "Star Wars Holiday Special." Star Wars as in Luke Skywalker, Lightsaber, Death Star, and Holiday as in Christmas, and to a much, much lesser degree, Chaunaka, and Special as in retarded. Believe you me, I am not making this up. In November 1978, someone at CBS decided that it would be a good idea to air this horrible atrocity. I haven't even seen more than five minutes of it, but I am now very frightened and want to unwatch this grievous crime against humainty. But curiosity will grasp my soul once again, and I know that eventually I will see all of this abhorrence. This is my curse. That is if my subconcious isn't smart enough to run me off a cliff to preserve itself by never having to witness another terrible second of the unholy abomination. I am lucky that the screen is only 1"x2": any bigger and my retinas would have seared themselves out by now. If anyone wants a copy of this, I would be willing to condemn myself to hell by spreading sin through the world and burning you a copy.

Now combine watching this with the stress of finishing the common app, turning it in, having no sleep the night before save a couple of nights, being in a very stressful living condition, eating only junk food for 2 days, and finially watching "The Twilight Zone" marathon. I would consider myself lucky if I make it through the night. Considering I now have Post Traumatic Stress from watching pure evil and "The Twilight Zone" at the same time, I think that I will never sleep again. But unfortunatly, I am also approaching exteme exhaustion from sleep deprivation. But at least if I get through tonight, I know that I could survive anything, for I have felt the wrath of God.

4 comments:

Ben said...

Common app to Cornell? I was on this website I just found the other night while I should have been doing the essays called College Confidential, I'm sure I'm the last one to know about it. Anyway, I was looking at the Cornell discussion board. It was pretty freaky. All these over-acheivers stressing about whether they would get in stressed me out. Don't know why I just wrote this, I guess I have empathy for those kids and would like to point out that I used the title Empathy for a post like four months ago in a post that actually had information pertaining to empathy, so I'm registering my disapproval of your titling-skills. On the other hand your post was of sufficient qualtiy that for the first few sentences I thought it might be Adrianna instead of you. So, on the whole, I still got nothing to say. I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it!

post script
I may be high right now.

Doug said...

Yeah, I thought that the title "empathy" sounded familiar. Sorry, it was late and I hadn't slept in a while.

Ken said...

You're queer?

Ben said...

And gay.