Monday, January 17, 2005

An Ode To Ken Colwell

This is a rough draft that I wrote in English during the writing prompt of September 22nd, 2004. I read it to the class last week to a lukewarm reception, but John asked me to post it, so I figured this is an oppurtunity to improve something I was not satisfied with. [Context: Mr. Benware read us something about interviewing trees, and Ken had been wowing the class the tales of setting stuff on fire and explosive diarrhea, so I felt compelled to write this.] Its not very good at all, please add any couplets (or suggestions/corrections) you can think of and we will work this into a ballad worthy of our resident jester.

An Ode to Ken Colwell (First Edition)

Interviewing a tree,
A gleam in Ken's eye I see
For his creative genius knows no bound
Give him a subject, and laughs will be found

His witticisms amuse the masses,
And his GQ looks attract the lasses.
His manliness makes lumberjacks quiver;
He hardly even cries when he has a sliver.

An Eagle Scout he shall be,
For rennovating a Porta Potty.
On the soccer field his skill inspires fear,
When opponents see him coming they try to steer clear.

{On the roofs he pulls many a prank
On the ground he is hailed as King Fank.
Although he refused to marry me,
As partners in crime we defiled St. Iggy}

His voice causes angels to weep,
And he can spew lies like gold waste-deep.
Oh what an honor I hold,
To call him a friend, if I may be so bold.


So yeah, not very good, but with editing it has some amount of potential. Please help. {The brackets were not read to the English class.}

5 comments:

Katie said...

Ha ha ha, nice, Ben. Very well written. Almost as good as my letter to Dave (and trust me, "almost as good" is quite a high compliment...this letter was STUNNING, verily).

...hey, September 22nd...that's my birthday...hm.

Nancy said...

When it comes to driving, Ken is the master.
You think you drive fast, but Ken will drive faster.
With a phone in his left hand, and a NERF gun in his right,
His knee will take over, yeah it's pretty tight.

Ok, so it doesn't really follow your rhythm, but there ya go.

Ben said...

That was great Nancy, better than my stuff.

The rest of you, more like Nancy.

Danielle said...

Ken is like Toad- on Mr. Toad's wild ride. Not only did he try to loose me in a wild goose hunt driving through unknownst territory- he found the courage to shoot the Nerf Gun at my car, as I was driving through rain and sleet on my way to an english study session. Trigger any memories?

Adrianna said...

Katie I'm gonna show up wherever you go to college on your birthday with a toaster just for YOU!