Friday, January 07, 2005

A typical Friday trip to the movies...yeah right

As a side note, this is not a movie review...in case you're one of the folk who just skips over those posts or whatever.

Okay, so yesterday I'm like...wow, now my Friday night's open...I should go see "House of Flying Daggers." So I go to Michael Fullman and I tell him and he's like "YEAH!" And Pat's like "okay sure I'll go" and Spencer says "I'm watching Degrassi" and John's like "I think I gotta eat dinner with my parents." Then this morning I'm like "Hey, Ben, let's go see House of Flying Daggers" and he's like "okay."

So that's part one.

Then today, I call up Ben after rehearsal and he's like "I'm on, man" and I call up Pat and he's like "I can't" and I call up Michael and get an answering machine. I call him again a half hour later, and he's like "no, man, I can't." So I'm like, "okay cool whatever" and I start walking toward the Fox Tower. Then this weird spacey chick comes up and says "hey...what's your shirt say?" and I'm like "Huh? Oh...Come Sail Away...like the song...from the 80s" and she's like "cool..."

So then I'm approaching the theater and there is a BIG F-ING LINE. So I call up Ben and I'm like "dude...there are like a billion people here...I'll buy your ticket and you call me when you get here and I'll run your ticket to you" and he's like "okay...hey, wait, what's your number" and I give it to him (ha! you thought you'd get my number out of this story...you were WRONG!)

And as the line starts a-moving, a number of things happen. The old people behind me keep trying to cut, before their younger accomplice is like "screw this" then heads inside to the kiosk and snatches up some tickets. When he gave 'em to 'em, he's just like "here, let's go." I don't think he really wanted to be there. Also, every like two minutes someone comes walking the other way, and EVERYONE in line is like "WHICH MOVIE'S SOLD OUT?!" First one to go was Hotel Rwanda. Then Kinsey. Then Sideways. Then a theater employee came out and said "Everything's sold out except House of Flying Daggers," which the ticket folk are pushing like CRAZY (I think they wanted every movie sold out...believe you me they got close).

So then I head in, rush to grab seats, and nab some fine ones. Would've liked front row with the bar, but I got dead center so that's not so bad. Then I wait for like fifteen minutes for Ben before I'm like "hey, it'd probably be better to head out now and wait for him than jump across people during previews." So I turn to the lady next to me and I'm like "can you watch these two seats and this coat? I gotta run my friend his ticket" and she's like "fine" but I'm not really sure at all she gave a crap and I'm thinking "bitch." So I head out. And wait for five minutes. Then I call Ben, who was on some other block ENTIRELY trying to find the theater.

So then, lacking all judgment, I just start running. I bolted out of the theater, found Ben, then we ran back to the theater, but he had to call his mom. STILL lacking judgment, I go in and take my seat. Ben walks in...no clue where I am. Then I do that crappy thing that somebody in the theater always does in the middle of the previews where they're like "hey...over here!" and everyone really wants 'em to shut up. That was me this time. About then I realize I would've been better off grabbing an aisle seat. See...more judgment-lacking.

(By the way, Ben, I don't blame you for any of the above...like I said, most of it was me COMPLETELY lacking judgment)

So the movie plays, we walk out, and inevitably there's this homeless fella asking for change. But he doesn't just ask...oh no. He says, and I quote: "Hey, I hate to botha you, I know you're white an' I'm black, but if you could spare just a coupla dollars, you'd prove me wrong about all these other folk here." So what am I gonna do, let the guy go on thinking us white, Fox-Tower-attending folk are assholes? I don't think so. So I gave him a dollar and Ben gave him some amount of change.

So then we walk to the garage, and Ben's like..."I don't know what level I'm on...but I remember blue." And I said, "well, I'm on 6 and that was blue and there weren't any spaces below that when I came so you're probably up there." And we get up there and Ben's like "no way was I up here." So we drive around for a bit and it turns out his car was on level 4 (which he predicted pretty early on).

SO FINALLY...I'm driving down towards the exit, I get in the line for the toll booth thing, and I hand the guy my ticket and $5. Parking cost 2, so I expect three dollars in change. He pulls out two ones and a coin. And of course I'm thinking "he's ripping me off!" But sure enough, I look at my pile of money, and there it is...the Sackajeweia (wow...not being able to spell rules) one-dollar coin.

Now how's that for a slice of fried gold?

The movie itself...decent. AWESOME fight scenes, but the script took no risks and didn't deliver where I ultimately wanted it to. So there.

3 comments:

Shakeer said...

Dude, what time were you there? I was at the Flying Elephants deli from like seven to eight ish and couldn't believe how long the line was.

Scott said...

Wild...I was standing in line at like 7:30...if not for the masses of old people, I probably woulda seen ya.

Ben said...

I gave him a buck 75 in quarters. It's true.