Monday, February 07, 2005

God wants my Volvo to die! [continuation of The Road...]

And my exhaust pipe flies off under the toyota following me. My sister who was sitting beside me at the time yells, "what the hell was that noise!" I who watched the destruction of my car in the mirror yell in reply, "Ohh, [profanity]!" I immediately pull over to the right onto a side street and turn off the car. My sister is asking what happened and my response of course is, "The [profanity]ing tailpipe fell off!" I throgh my sister my brick of a cell phone and tell her to call the school and then home. I then run the block and a half to find my missing exhaust pipe. I find the majority of it and reach down to grab it realizing that it probably is hot I wrap my hand in my sweatshirt and pick it up, durting my shirt (oh well). I then continue to dodge the three and a half lanes of trafic to get back the the Volvo, and my sister puts my mom on the Phone.
"Mom what should I do?"
"What happened?"
"The tailpipe fell off!"
"Well is it still draging?"
"No, mom, it FELL OFF."
"Yes completely off! This tailpipe is dead! It is no more! It has ceased to exsist!"
Anyhow I drive to school without it and the pipe sitting in my trunk. I then go into the office and explain the situation, Mrs. Shanahan responds with, "Well thats one I haven't heard yet."

That afternoon we get into my car to leave, and I decide to turn on the heater (it was cold... give me a break!). And of course it doesn't work! No exhaust pipe and no heat, what could be worse right? As I am driving down 17th in SE so that my sister can babysit for the Grays (JHS English Teacher) I see this SUV sitting at a stop sign a block up and my sister has her head down looking for her planner to see what time she has to leave. As I am approching (under the speed limit I might add--27 mph) I am less then a carlength now, The SUV guns it into the intersection. Now I am driving a 1980 volvo that is red and I have my lights on with no parked vehicle to block his view, I guess those tinted windows are not such a great idea. So this guy pulls out with me no more then 15 feet away! I crank my wheel hard to the Left and "sound my horn" just like Jeff Hall taught me in tech class. My sister (in the passenger seat) yells as her head hits the dash board hard, then looks up to yell at me for being such a careless driver when she sees the SUV only a foot away from her head, and she starts screaming. The SUV stops blocking the entire right lane. I am now in the opposite lane with a white 97 jeep baring down on me! I then crank my wheel to the right and regain my possition in the correct lane. Then of course with all the excitment the little volvo starts to dance. The car starts weaving back and forth, and I cram my brakes down to avoid hitting the pedestrians at the bus stop watching the mayham. After regaining a stabel atmosphere I continue the mission home, with a faster pulse.

When we arrived home my dad of course wants to look at the pipe, so after much observation and deliberation, my dad states that there is nothing to do except buy a new muffler. So after that I decide that it is due time to replace the windsheild wiper blades. So my dad goes over and starts to remove the left wiper when it pops off snapping the winsheild, luckly it did not break anything other then the wiper. My dad notices it is only a loose pin so he goes to fix it with his leatherman when it breaks in half.

What a great day, I look forward to many more adventures in my Volvo


Anonymous said...

I don't know why this post has been languishing without comments for so long. It is some of the highest-quality material this blog has ever seen.

Plus, it's long. Not like all this two-lines-long trendy crap we've been starting to see. Packed with substance and style, its phenomenal grace and power are difficult to describe. As with the Chantico Drinking Chocolate, describing it would deplete the world of adjectives.

I, too, look forward to your continued adventures in the Volvo. May God keep you safe.

Xan said...

Thank you for your kind post, why don't you show us who you are? Anyway I think the illness that is striking this blog is that people are getting lazy and don't like writing long posts, not just this but reading them too. this is probably why Ben and other people make fun of me and my blog ( because all my posts are fairly long especially the most recent ones (which I am trying to formulate into my senior project [see Schniders post]). Too many people are too lazy and don't like good writing because usually good writing takes a while. If you can sum up the entire thing in a few words then either one its not worth writing in the long form or its not worthy of being written at all!