Friday, April 29, 2005

Zan is in the hospital

I am unhappy to report that my aunt's boyfriend Zan, who has been reciving blood transfusions for the pat few years was admitted into the hospital yesterday. He has been my uncle persay for many years and if you all could keep him in your prayers, Thank you. His name was the basis of my main characters name in Omega and my original screen name.

Peace, Love, And Long Life.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Mixing it up (AKA I AM BORDED)

I'm going to do something cool for the following reasons:

1) I am bored.
2) After next week I have nothing to do
3) I need new music.
4) Making mixes is fun!

It's a mix exchange. Post a comment here and ask me to burn a cd for you (you can specify what sort of music you want or you can just tell me to suprise you or juggle or something), and I'll do it. No fewer than 10 tracks or 60 minutes, whichever comes first, will be delivered to you fresh baked and as soon as possible! Who knows what you might get? Some obscure random rock band? The Britney Spears megamix? It's a grab bag! According to my "fulllist.m3u," I currently have over 1,321 songs on my computer. And there's more to be had in my CD collection. So yeah, you have some variety to pick from.

All I ask for in exchange is a CD of comparable length, made up of anything you feel like tossing in there, delivered to me whenever you so desire. Yeeeahhh that's about it.

I. Am. Bored.

I need help

(Like you didn't know that.)

Actually, I feel almost kinda guilty for posting twice in a row, so I'll keep it short. This is vital. In college, should I keep it Ken, or switch it to Kenneth? Ken has maybe a friendlier feel, I think, but Kenneth has that masculine edge to it. Before you ask, Kenny is out of the question.

Vote? (just "Ken" or "Kenneth" will do, nw)

Monday, April 25, 2005

R.I.H., N.H.S.

H is for hell.

Actually, the convocation wasn't that bad. They read the names pretty quickly, the speeches weren't as painful, and I had an epiphany at the end: Mr. Lum read out, "And Red Team, meet tomorrow after school in the Knight Center Lobby to set up for Mass."

I looked at the two golden cords on my left.

I looked at the two golden cords on my right.

I smiled. And I said "No."


Do you still have pictures from game 3 to upload?? That would be sweet. Because, ya know I can't wait to see that penalty kick of mine in action...ha. And the mud.

And Adrianna says you got your braces off, congratulations!

Sorry there wasn't much point to this, but Blogger isn't letting me comment on stuff.

Not Game # 5

Wow, may I be the first to congratulate everyone on a great game we didn’t have. Wow the way that Matt didn’t score the second hatrick of the season was simply amazing. And as usual Ben didn’t play great, he was not all over the field, and when he didn’t make that shot into the net that wasn’t there, I never screamed so loud in my life. And then Cory didn’t do one of his amazing bicycle kicks, and send the ball flying over half the field to just not clear the keepers head. Nathan was not in goal as he usually isn’t, and I didn’t play goal either. Neither of us stopped any shots, nor did Nathan drop kick the ball into the ozone layer. Luckily, we didn’t have enough girls to play on the team, so we weren’t able to sub any of the girls out. Doug, Adrianna, Maggie, and John all were not able to make it to the game, thanks goes to John who happened not to be standing behind the goal post when the ball didn’t go flying over the goal, and almost didn’t go into the river (because the game was not held at Willamette park). Good thing Ben Kocarnik and I showed up for the non-existent game. We had to pay three dollars to get into the park (because fishermen are communists).

P.S. Thanks for not telling me we didn’t have a game, Ben!

P.P.S. At least I know now where I stand on the team!

Sunday, April 24, 2005

The Outsiders Looking In

#1 Chart finder

this is a site that tells you the song that was #1 on the pop charts on any date... most people look at their birthdays...

on my birthday 08/23/86... "papa dont preach - madonna"
on my 10th birthday 08/23/96... "macarena - los del rio"
on my 18th birthday 08/23/04... "Slow Motion - Juvenile feat Soulja Slim"

my music has sucked so far... hows yours?

EDIT - I had forgotten the link... points to time of original post...well thats the kind of work that tends to happen at 3 am... sorry...

We Missed Shakeer

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We were seperating into groups in religion class, but alas, we has no Shakeer, so Jack fabricated this new, better Shakeer. Okay, maybe not, but still, we were all expierencing seperation anxiety. Never leaves us again, Shakeer

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

A Question of Morals

So Doug and I now have access to the Cornell Class of 2009 website, where all the kids in our class are slowly signing up, filling out a profile... and attaching pictures of themselves. Yes, even the unfortunately-named Ruby Mahboob. (Actually I don't remember if she had a picture up yet, just wanted to mention the name. And hey, I'm excited, I've never met a Ruby.)

So the question of morals is this: is there any way to morally justify searching through all the available girl pictures for attractive collegiate women? (And the corollary, if we actually read their profiles every once in a while, will it make us less shallow?)

Postscript. Claire Salamida, you will be mine. Mmmmm.

Thanks John!!!

So thanks to John declining his, I now have a full scholarship, including room and board, to Loyola Chicago, which is 30k a year. It wasn't my first or second choice but who can turn down going to college for free, aside from a super smart genious like John! So that is where I'll be for the next fo years. Thanks Again John you rock for ya know picking the school you wanted to go to and it not being Loyola!!!

Tuesday, April 19, 2005


so i am sure you have thought to yourself at one point in your life that you had to pee so bad that you would pee your pants. well i pee'd my pants at subway. not alot. really. it was as much as if you shook your thing after a pee, but not hard enough. guys you know what i am talking about.
sorry ladies :'(

Monday, April 18, 2005

Dammit, Janet

Greatest movie of all time: Rocky Horror Picture Show. Or at least the best involving transvestite aliens. Also watched Meet the Fockers. That was a waste of time. Oh well, at least I saw it before it comes out tomorrow. My new job is pretty sweet. (For those of you who don't know, it is at the Hollywood DVD next to Fred Meyers) Free movies. Boooya. Anyway, any movie suggestions? Contrary to John's advice, I didn't get Usual Suspects, but I'll get it eventually.

PS: I CAN GO TO COLLEGE! Cornell was very, very good to me.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Sunday Game

The players that made it were Colleen, Brooke, Tracy, Theresa, Nathan, Alex, Matt, and I. We borrowed Justin, a big forward from the previous game, and a player from the other team named Shannon, who wasn’t as good as her identical twin sister Alyssa.

It didn’t seem to take very long for the other team to score two goals. Matt was stopper and I was center mid. We switch so that he could be freer to run all over the place while I stay back for defense. He knew there was a lot of pressure on him, and he responded heroically. He scores before the end of a half.

Down 2-1, the general consensus was that we could easily win this game. Alex switches from forward to sweeper for the second half. My faithful toe punt doesn’t let me down- it takes the ball into the goal, just below the top bar, out of reach of the goalie (His name was Kevin. He was a really goalie but a poor lifeguard (he was fired for not paying attention to the pool).)

At 2-2, Justin’s chances finally fall his way. He might have been tired, cause he kept getting open runs but it took him a while to put it in. At 3-2, we had a lot of close calls, but Alex did a flawless job at goalie (He and Nathan switched partway through the second half).

Overall, we had the advantage of getting the ball most times it was fought over. And their defenders- you’re running with the ball, you switch directions and they fly past you. We really got a great team. The ref didn’t speak much English.

After the game, Nathan, Justin and I played in the next game on Elise’s team. Thank God I was dismissed early because it was freezing.


I guess it's my turn to write about the game this week. Meant to do it yesterday but never got around to it. Anyway, we pretty much destroyed them, 9-3 I think. We scored at will for the most part. Cory and Matt each had two goals, one of them a sweet header by Matt, and Rachel got a goal on a penalty kick. So yeah, we won by a lot. Thanks to Colonel and Doug for showing up to root the team on.

Gay Movie Night...aka...Harrassing Pat!!!

So Doug and I go to Hollywood and rent some movies with Doug being the ultimate decision maker; our choices were as follows: Rocky Horror Picture Show, Chasing Amy, and American Wedding.

Now while watching Chasing Amy there was a carachter that we all agreed was exactly like Pat, even Pat thought so. This person was a bigot, vulgar, told everyone what he thought no matter how harsh and used the word faggot and dyke quite liberally. At the end of the movie however, we find out this carachter is gay. The only logical conclusion we could come to was that Pat was also in fact gay. What turned into just calling Pat gay turned into a full onaslaught of all of us harrassing him, well except Magda who tried to thwart our fun. Can't imagine why.

So for some reason my pictures aren't loading but you can see them in the photo link to yahoo.
Basically the night went like this:

Pat adimantly denying his true feelings.

Pat Brooding.

Me working my feminine charms on Pat trying to get him to tell us if he ever kissed a girl before.

Realizing that my dog had a sixth sense: Gaydar. And despite doing everything in our power to make her like Pat....

She kept following Doug.


Saturday, April 16, 2005

Back from Ithaca!

Item 1. Cornell is sweet.

Item 2. I am tired.

Item 3. Ithaca is GORGES. (Ha. Ha.)

The plane flights were probably the worst part, and they weren't that bad at all. In a couple weeks, Northwestern Airlines will open a flight from Detroit, and then it'll only be two flights from Portland. Unfortunately, this means I won't get to visit the Auntie Anne's pretzel stand in Denver International Airport anymore. That was probably the best part of my trip, watching the dejected-looking black guy roll out a long pretzel-dough thing, and with--I shizzle you not--ONE THROW, transforms it into the classic pretzel shape. In fact I kinda wish I'd managed to avoid it during the layover on the way back, because it made me wonder about going to college at all. This after flying in a small plane over upstate New York, which, I'm gonna be honest, I was really kinda crushing on. Not as green as Oregon at the moment, but I'll give it a chance to wake up.

Anyway it beat the crap out of UVA in my college standings (is it bad if my choice was mainly food quality and surroundings?) and we didn't have time to check out Tufts, so I think I've found my new home.

Speaking of the food, I finally figured out why Jesuit has the food system that we do. It's a college-prep school, right? So we take classes that are maximum hard, so we'll be ready for the hardest possible courses... and we eat cafeteria food that is maximum bad, so any Jesuit student could survive four years with me as the chef. I'm still not sure if the Cornell food deserves all the hyperlative adjectives I was about to type out or if it's just a million times better than "Tuesday: Taco Salad." But they do make their own ice cream, and not with that stupid rock-salt shaking experiment, either--this *is* the university with the highest-rated school of Agronomy in the nation (ooooOOOoooohhhh, I know).

You know what, though, when I was at UVa, Dean Aylor was leading me around the Lawn and knocked on one of the students' rooms so I could see what it was like. This guy, straight out of the Beach Boys with probably fourteen bottles of hard liquor on top of his fireplace, says "Duuuude! How's it going! Come on in!" I told him where else I was looking at schools, and he said, "well, man, I tell you this. I have friends at those schools and I've gone and visited them, and I walked around all those ivy league campuses, and I saw not *one* hot girl. They're, like, all over the place here! So come to Virginia!"

And I'd love to say that he was wrong, but he wasn't. Virginia won that battle hands-down. It's not to say that Cornell didn't put up a fight, but UVA was almost overwhelming. Silver lining: the guy market must be almost as shallow because (and I know this will sound like Jeff's waitress story) I got some winking action going on while I was up there. Hot.

Sucks to have missed Coffeehouse, by the way, and I heard the Jesuit senior class lost its collective mind voting for prom court, but much as I missed school, college was better.

(By the way, most potentially awkward moment of the whole trip: the Best Western we stayed at in Ithaca had a computer in the lobby that anyone could use, so I did, and it already had AIM installed so I logged on. Within ten minutes I had several convos going. My mom arrived to tell me to go to bed right when these three messages had appeared on the screen:

[anna]: omg, one time i snorted a line of off mckenzie carroll's buttcheck

[kate]: can i call you "sex phrase master"

[sarah]: damn ken we need to stop sharing bodily fluids :-)

I had a new article open, so I alt-tabbed my way out of Dodge, but I couldn't help feeling like Mom was watching me a liiiiiittle more closely after that.)

Friday, April 15, 2005

Last Coffeehouse...

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These are just a small fraction of pictures I have from our last coffeehouse ever. I'm way too tired to write anything. So, to all of you who went, feel free to comment on whatever you see fit. Maybe I'll give Cynda my other pictures to put in her album. Well, I'll see you all wednesday. I'm off to Penn!

Thank God Y'All Have Me

People, you know things are getting bad when I have to, from VIRGINIA, put up a new post just to stop the stream of Ben trying to stop the stream of Alex-Tuesday-Go-Have-Your-Identity-Crisis-Somewhere-Else.


Thank God Y'All Have Me is right.

I don't really have that much to say, to be honest. I am in Virginia, weather's nice, Southern Hospitality is alive and well, girls are nice if pretty damn preppy (I am, after all, at the University of Preston Neupert), boys are hot, accents are awesome, coach is supportive, I got to watch Sex & The City while eating ice cream, so life's pretty good.

The wierd part was last night...NCAA rules state that Official Recruiting Weekends are to be 48 hours in length, no longer. So I was not allowed to step foot on campus until Friday morning, which meant I had to fly in Thursday afternoon, get picked up by the coach, given money for dinner and dropped off at a hotel, where I stayed in a room by myself until the next morning when the coach picked me back up again.

I watched a lot of Everybody Loves Raymond, and Seinfeld. Could've been worse.

Talk about creepy, not only could I not get to sleep with the wierd time change, I kept waking up thinking I was hearing things, and I had no one to talk to.

I woke up in the morning and forgot where I was, panicked and decided I had been kidnapped and was about to scream my head off when I saw my suitcase on the floor and my cell phone next to me and realized I wasn't kidnapped...I was in Virginia.

Anyway, people, start posting other things...just random crap that happens during school that would at least make a semi-interesting or out of the ordinary story...not so much contrived stuff. And not so much of the same people, please.

p.s. Rachel and Adrianna, on my flight from Cinncinatti to Charlottesville, there were these six college age guys from Wisconsin who were going backpacking in Virginia...let's just say I was starting to regret not looking more closely at Marquette. Have at 'em, ladies.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Holy... Wow

Google "St. Malachy"!

The guy in 1139 gave brief description of the each of future 112. The alleged prophecies were allegedly hidden in archives Rome and discovered in 1590. So a lot of people will say they were forged in that year, but I just watched a show about the descriptions he gave of the last few popes we've had. If you find an exhaustive source on his quotes for each pope and then compare how they match each pope, it's... wow.

Now here's where it gets interesting: Pope John Paul II was the 110th pope on St. Malachy's list. The 112th is said to be the very last pope before Christ returns. "No one knows the day or the hour," but man we're getting close. Exciting times. :-)

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

I'm Queer

Just kidding, but I do really like that "Holding Out For A Hero" song in Footloose. Its like the Vertical Horizon song but better cuz its not some guy who wants to get laid singing it.

I decided to grant our benefactor Shakeer his request. Mostly because I felt bad about pegging him in the head with my literature book after he insulted the DQ musical. (Earlier, Mr. Benware saw me giving him the double middle finger. He said "Nice signal, Ben" or something like that. I hope he understood I was defending the greatest musical ever conceived and performed from the continuous ridicule spewed by that dishonorable excuse for a knight.) Hopefully the hole Shakeer leaves behind will be filled by none other than Chris Pozzi, who has been a loyal reader for several months.

I really have nothing else to say. JHall gave his tentative approval for Rachel and me to be late to Dry Tech due to the soccer game, which made me happy. 'Dry Tech' sounds like it involves robots humping, which would be funny.

post script
Doug refused to wrestle me at the track meet because he was afraid I would injure him. What a queer.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: A Rebuttal

Just kidding. This ceased to be an argument in 7th grade. Not because the matter was settled, but because it was deemed lame and geeky as hell. So, in absense of that discussion (and to fill up space in order to give Tuesday the momentary hope that someone was indeed interested in this topic) I will discuss a matter very close to my heart. The man I nominated and for who I secured many votes for the position of Sader of Sincerity, Patrick Eugene Spear, has admitted to being dirty rotten cheater. He cheated at poker on Saturday. Ken I can understand, he is a bastard like that, but not Pat, never. I have been in mourning all day. And who assisted him but the once-virtuous maiden Maggie? I am in pain. I don't know what I can believe in any more. This is like learning the truth about Santa Claus. Worse. It is like when the bachelor defeats Don Quixote.

Star Wars vs. Star Trek

Why I believe The Star Trek Universe is more "realistic" (if you could say such a thing) then the Star Wars Universe.

1) Space travel
yes ST (star trek) ships are capable of faster then light travel, a fact that has been proven by science that is impossible. However it was a fact that the world was fact, it was a fact that Earth was the center of the universe, It was a fact that Earth was the only planet to sustain life. Well guess what, all those have been proven false. ST also does not say that the ships are traveling at a huge velocity, rather they use a very common theme in Sci-fi, and that is bending space. The warp core has the ability to bend space to travel from one point to the other. And being loyal to the concept of a limit on speed there is a top speed that you can reach Warp 9.9 Warp 10 is impossible to obtain. Now if you watch TOS (the original series) you will notice that Kirk throws around different speeds like warp 13 and such, this is not a continuity error, the scale on which to determine warp speed changed to match the meteric system, because warp drive was developed by an american using the English system, and it stuck for a while.

2) Ship design
the main thought process behind the ST design for ships is symetry, to have an incongruent ship that has all these bulges and points would be inefficent. It would not beable to make a sustanable warp field. SW has insemetrical designs (the Mellinium Falcon for example) which by the laws of physics would be incapable of withstanding the speeds at which they claim to go. And the X-wing for example, why would a ship need wings in space? For atmouspheric flight perhaps, but in space? There would be no reason for wings on a starship, and contrary to belief, ST ships only have wings on some of the shuttles, and even then they are saftey features, thrusters take most purpose away, and no large starships have wings, the things on the back are not wings they are warp nacelles, they take the bussards collected in space and convert them into a usable energy source.

3) Exsistance of humans
As most of you know the begining of every SW film it says, "a long time ago in a galaxy far far away..." Well I don't want to but your bubble but a long time ago humans did not have space travel, nor did they live in a galaxy far far away. Now many people claim that the people of SW are not human, rather they are Correlian, a lame excuse for a continuity error. ST however is set in the future where technological advancement may bring this as a logical future, with a real time line. Humans are humans. Also in SW you will notice that the vast majority in the senate chamber, pods appear to be human, now I find it hard to believe that of so many planets so few alien races are represented, or that humans colonized all so many planets and have become the dominant species in the universe. Where do you see all the aliens? never in the empire, all are in the rebelion, and even then you look at the shots they are mostly human. Yes I will admit the ST series' that have been produced are mainly based on human starships, but you must realize that Starfleet is an Earth based operation. If you know anything about Spock you will know that he faced huge critisim from Vulcans for joining starfleet, because he was breaking from tradition and vulcans saw starfleet as a human faction.

4) Weapons
Now Star Trek faces huge criticism from oponents that say the weapons are completely made up and never possible, I propose the opposite. One of the most known instruments in the ST universe is the phaser. The phaser is a weapon that emits a concentrated beem of energy to temporarly paralize (or sometimes kill) the victum. This is not far from our reality now. A new device was recently invented called a tetenizer (sp) it uses a laser beem to conduct a concentrated amount of energy that, upon striking the opponent, causes their muscles and organs to seize up and contract. This cause the person to be temporarly immoble so that restraints can be fasened. Unfortunatly, they are not yet on the market, and they are about the size of a suitcase, but progress is being made. SW uses lasers, a tiny amount of energy shot toward an object that blows it to bits. Perhaps this was "possible" in the 1970's but now we all know that for energy to travel through light there must be a constant beam of light. There is a line in TNG (Tne Next Generation) where Picard is informed that an enemy ship has lasers, his responce is something like, "lasers? Those wont even make a dent in our shields." enough said.

5) Technology
Again critics of star trek say that the technology is impossible, quite the contrary. Take the communicatior badge for example. They now are using the same thing in hospitals with nurses and doctors. The PADD that all orders and communications are on, are a direct decendent of today's Palm Pilots. As for the Phaser, well thats been covered, and the most controversial, the transporter. Could such a thing work? The answer is yes, it has been proven. So far scientists have been able to transport single atomic structures, from one location to another. They are now experimenting with molecules, and have had noteworthy attempts, the technology is not yet there but who can say that it wil never be. As for SW, what do they have that has basis in fact? The lightsaber? Show me the precorsor and I will apologize, but who has seen a beem of energy that ends one meter from its source and is able to slice through anything? Anyone? It is cool to watch on screen, no dispute there, and episode III is looking good, but in reality, not likely.

Now don't get me wrong, I love Star Wars, I just find it a little harder to grasp then Star Trek. So many people say they hat ST, but in all actuallity they don't even know enough to hate. You can not truly hate something unless you know it very well. I am not saying I hate SW, I love it, I am simply saying that Star Trek is better.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Carlton the Cock

Is a shuttlecock made in England and is the mascot/game for Footloose backstage. Sorry to Adrianna who I hit in the eye while practicing the clandestine chucking of the cock which is essential to success in the game. And I played a different game, the Game, this time with the DQ reflections, at roughly the same level of hardcoreness as last time and succeeded again. That was today.

Adventures in Babysiting: Bigger Longer & Uncut

This story has been rated “R” by the American Writing Non-Motion-Picture Rating Service of American Activities League (AWNMPRSoAAL). For Violence, moderate language, sexuality and mature subject mater.

So on Tuesday My sister and I had the misfortune of traveling to perhaps the place where hell begins and earth ends. The home of an English teacher. As I arrived I was greeted not by Satan herself, but rather by her fellow demons. They were going to send us to a slow and painful death through the torture of babysitting [scary music]. Now if you are ever in this awkward position I recommend the following, 1) protect the demon children with your life, 2) do anything to keep them satisfied & 3) never, never go into the basement!

Now the evening started out all fine and dandy, three rowdy kids, nothing special, then came the fourth, then the fifth, then the sixth, before I could have said "I am a mother pheasant plucker, I pluck mother pheasant, I am the most plesent mother pheasant plucker, to ever pluck a mother pheasant" there was seventeen wild little children running around. There was no way for me to feed all these kids with two boxes of green macaroni and cheese! And remember rule #2 keep them satisfied. Unless I became Jesus and multiplied the mac & cheese and burritos, I was not going to survive the night. Then the though occurred to me, "WWJD...What would Jesus do?" well that was not much help, because Jesus would have just multiplied the food, but I was not Jesus, I did not have supernatural powers, or did I?

"Maybe I could pull this off!" I thought to myself, "Maybe I could be like Jesus!" For the nest hour I experimented with the boxes, I ripped them up, I threw them against walls, I even sacrificed a dead squirrel that I had found in one of the kid's mouths. None of which worked. Well maybe These people had a food locker in the basement, I mean that is where all normal people keep their extra Macaroni and cheese, right? Down in the dark, drafty, scary, incomplete, spawned from hell basements, right? Well there was one way for me to find out...I sent my sister down to investigate.

The Children began to become restless, and the seventeen, minus the one that was biting the leg of the couch started forming a mob. Yeah, like a real mob with pitchforks and torches and everything. I began to panic, I opened the door to the basement and yelled to my sister, "Laina, we kind of need that mac & cheese now!"
I will never forget her response, "Hold on, I've almost got it! The Dog is almoust finished with my leg."
"Hurry up!" I yelled. She was taking too long. Damn dog I thought, but I must have said the words aloud and the children started to scream.
"He called Tiberius as damn dog!" they screamed. "Kill 'em" said another, "Let's eat em!" "Gddlapppgggpphhhh!" mumbled the one gnawing on the couch. Damn it, they were cannibals, they massive amounts of blood on their mouths and dead children should have gave it away, but I what can I say, I’m a little slow. What could I do, then I though, I know, WWJD, what would Jesus do? But again it didn't help, because Jesus would have just converted everyone on the spot with his awesome 78 resurrection points, which would have trumped the kids' attack rating of 47, and shield deflection of 13, But the best that I had was a damn Ghandi card with a Peaceful Resistance of 81! That wouldn't even convert one St. Thomas the Doubter Insurrection card with 12 resistance points. Damn sales vendors always ripping me off on my Bible playing cards, I should have brought my King David Sling Shot card with attack rating of 67, and dodging ability of 49, that would have blown all these little kids to the moon and back. But then I remembered what Mr. Carver said about Jesus not attacking anyone, because he was a pacifist, and would have told me to turn the other cheek. So all this thinking was both wearing out my brain and wasting time. So with no luck I retreated into the basement.

Now maybe I should have stood and fought, or maybe I should have run the other way, or maybe I should pulled out my AK-47 and showed them consequence of rebellion, but no, being the dumb-ass,, (is dumb-ass hyphenated?),, that I am, I ran downstairs in retreat, like a ten year old girl. For some reason the children did not follow, they must have thought that it was unsafe. As I came downstairs I began to realize that this was no ordinary basement, for one the ceiling was 7 foot 6 where a regular basement was 7 foot 3. But that wasn't the only scary thing about it, this basement was a complete recreation of the bridge of the USS Enterprise NCC-1701! Everyone was there, Kirk, Spock, that foxxy (yes with 2 x’s) Hickeru Sulu, and even R2-D2. But I didn't have time to save the planet from the Klingons, I gave Kirk a quick punch to the face, had a little “orgy-porgy” with Sulu and R2-D2, and I was on my way. I found my sister in the holodeck where she was allowing a dog to service her leg. I shut the door and continued down the corridor. Where I found it, the storage room.

I opened the door and entered, mounds after mounds of mac & cheese were piled to the sky. However there was no sky, because this was a basement, and it had a ceiling, rather that was just a figure of speech, meant to convey how large the stacks were. I grabbed a few boxes and began to leave the room when I had a revelation, an epiphany if you will. The greatest minds in History were there, Jesus, Spock, and Billy Joel. Billy Joel had a little pocket piano that he was playing and singing Only the good die young. Spock was shaking his head in frustration, and Jesus was picking his nose when I walked through the door. Jesus stopped and stated to speak, "What you do the least of these you do to me." Billy Joel asked me if I had any spare cash on me and for some beer, and Spock, just said "Live Long and Prosper" These words inspired me to become a better man. I ran upstairs an started feeding the children, and everything was alright. Until I found out that I had gone to the wrong house that night and I was supposed to be babysitting for the people next door. Damn

why you should never drink alcohol

The most recent of my 1980 Volvo saga is this: Some jack off broke into my car. First off let me say thank you to ben for notifing everyone of break in. So on Friday I wake up and start listening to my Billy Joel CD and everything is great, a day off, and great music (by the way Billy Joel's play "Moving Out" is coming to the Keller soon),, nothing could ruin this fabulous day. So my mom calls around 11:45 and tells us that she will meet us at Taco Bell (Spanish for "food of the gods") for lunch, so I get ready, and walk down to my car which I park on the street because we don't have enough room for all three cars to fit in the driveway. When I get to it I see that the drivers side (Port side) back window is completely shattered. Glass is everywhere, and there is broken shards of beer bottles everywhere. Chunks of the bottle have stuck to pats of the car and the inside reeks of beer. The glovebox had been rifled threw and stuff was on the floor. But they didn't take anything! The only thing of value was a two dollar flashlight from spirt mountain casino and they left it. We call my mom and she comes over and we pull it up into the driveway and then we go to Taco Bell and have my crunch-wrap supreme without nacho cheese, that crunch-wrap tasted better then any other before. We then called our dad and of cource he is pissed, but says that we could probably get another at the scrap-yard. I go home and start cleaning up the inside, my sister is willing to help and we collect all the glass and then vacuum, And I hose off the beer on the outside. After returning from Soccer practice, my Dad and our old neighbor Reed, have just returned from the scrap-yard. And they did not just get a new window, but also new mudflaps, dome light, interior handles for the doors, and new bulbs for the gear shift. And all of that only cost thirty dollars. So it ended up being a good thing for me, because although I'm down, 30 I benifited from the new parts.

P.S. But if you think about it, if you were going to break into a car whose would you break into? A 1980 Volvo, or the Mayors toyota 2005 Prius, across the street. This is why you should never drink.

P.P.S. And get this; they even were courtieous enought to lock the doors after going through the car.

Sunday, April 10, 2005


I'd just like to ask you keep my grandfather in your prayers, he is having a tough time recovering from surgery, as older folks usually do.
Thank You

STATE or bust

I have been delegated to write the summary of today's soccer game...unfortunately I don't have a good blow-by-blow memory of the game. Alas:

We began by streaching...and Misha and I saw a little more of Ken than we really desired.

Then we played our entire game ONE MAN DOWN.

And we beat them 3-1.

AND for about 3/4 of the first half the other team had only 4 girls playing...against strict PYSA regulations (that was the whole reason we had to play a man down the entire time, we only had 4 girls total...mishka, colleen, brooke, and i were very tired)

Pat scored two of our three goals, and Brooke scored the third. Quite impressive for a girl we hadn't even met until today (So Ben, you've now met Brooke Palmer, is your life complete?). But truly it was a team effort, I've never seen us play so hard...which was impeded further by only having two forwards, 10 players on the field, and one sub for the guys.

Hopefully little Geoffy got some good shots. And hopefully Misha and I won't find those pictures that random dude took, on the internet someday (it was really strange).

A big thanks to Doug, Magda, Karolyn, and John for making their way to Delta Park to watch us toil in the mud...thanks to superfans like you guys we have applesauce on the sidelines. Ahh.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Today was beautiful.

Hopefully the weather will hold up for the game tomorrow. I will attempt to post more pictures but will make someone else write the game summary. We are going to be short-handed. After a small practice today, all the cool kids ate pancakes and played poker, including a new game that Amir invented which is the most nerve-racking thing ever. Like balls-to-the-wall on steriods. As I was heading home I saw what looks to be Scott's car one car ahead of me. I love how distinctive his car is, even at night. So, I changed lanes and rode up next to him for about a quarter-mile, because that is the distance in which I live my life, but he didn't notice me. Shucks. When I stopped to get gas for the second time in the day, I talked with the attendant lady, who was from Compton, about all the crazy stuff she has to deal with working the night shift alone at a gas station. Then we agreed being Christian is a good thing.

post script
We should have had a historical fiction post by Alex yesterday, but blogger ate it because it they were making some adjustments, so you all will get the more interesting version of his babysitting adventures on Monday. He was right. The whole criticism thing is paying off. Oh, and some jack off broke into his car, so we'll probably get a double post.

post post script
I should have been at Tech, but I'm lazy like that.

post post post script
Can you imagine how screwed we'd be if Mr. B had made us do all nine Don Quixote papers?

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

All Roads Lead to Rome...

For some reason,, coach decided to separate the throwers by gender instead of by name like they always have before. We complained to Coach Rombach,, who told us that senior boys should ride with the girls since there were way more guys than chicks. Ben and I declared ourselves pimps. Anyway,, one this bus of buses,, Ben and I came up with a plan. But not any plan. THE plan. First,, we write a song and get some hopped-up band (I'd go with Offspring) to play it. This accomplishes two ends: 1. It raises some capital,, which is good,, because money is good,, especially for me,, who needs money and has very,, very little of it. 2. It connects us with proven visionaries. Not because the Offspring are artists,, but because they smoke pot. Lots of it. They undoubtedly either have,, or have designs for a time machine,, which we could build and implement for our own devious means. Our ultimate plan now takes effect. We use the time machine to travel to ancient Rome and pick up hot chicks in togas. There are several reasons that Roman chicks are better than anybody else in history. First,, Romans liked certain characteristics in their women (basically,, Romans were all gay,, and liked boyish women). This leaves a lot of women that we today would find attractive,, but since the Romans didn't,, they'd all have low self-esteems and flock to us. Also,, they don't speak English,, so we wouldn't have to listen to them talk about their feelings or anything. (Haha!) Armed with a time machine and hot Roman chicks,, Ben and I would turn our attention to math. We would become rich just by doing things like introducing Arabic or "Vincientine" numbers. Then we would introduce things such as Calculus and number theory,, centuries before posers like Euler,, Fibonacci,, and Riemann. We would kick ass. That is our plan,, and if Ben and I are suddenly missing,, know that we are in ancient Rome with our hot Mediterranean senoritas. Wow,, we are such nerds. We even have math in our fantasies.

PS: Sorry Alex,, but you deserve it.

PPS: Fuck You Cornell

track time

Well, I decided that I would end Alex’s long stream of posts, which while somewhat valid are growing more and more numerous. In any case I just wanted to say that I’m an idiot for not joining track earlier because I love it. I just pr'd in polevault at 10ft and could've gotten 10'6'' if my hand hadn't hit the bar on the way down. But such is life, so I’m excited now because I know I can letter (which I’ve never done other than band....). And kudos to Misha taking 1st place and Puett taking 4th in disc. Ben I hope that you did well to. All and all we're off to a good season, can't wait to win a few more meets.

Babysiting Adventures

How often do you go to your english teacher's house and babysit her kids? I had the wonderful experience of it last night. Mrs. Gray asked me if I would be willing to help my sister babysit because they were dumping five kids on her. I agreed, one because I felt obliged to give something back, and two I needed the gas money. So I go over there and find her little guy JJ being fed some good green slop, by Ryan Gray, his dad. And little Georga playing with another little boy named Johnny. They had matching "lambies" very cute I must say. So I thought, "cool" only three, and one is tiny, no problem." Then a forth little guy shows up, Max. And he has the coolest hair. Then Mrs. Gray (I will call her Mrs. Gray because you all know her by that) shows up with her other daughter Ruby. We end up playing some "memory" and "Dominos" then eating some great (Jesuit Colors) Green and yellow macaroni and chesse, and burritos. Then we go up stairs and Ruby wants to take my wallet, I say "You better not take that! I get in big trouble if I don't have that with me in the car." She saids "What will happen." I say, "If the Police ask for it and I dont have it I have to go to jail!" So her reply is, "Okay, you better keep it." Then as I am leaving she asks if I have my wallet. Don't get me started on the legos we built, sufficet to say, there was "poop" involved.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Has God answered my prayers?

The answer is, "officially no." However he's given me one small step toward them. As I was searching google for star trek legos, like the loser that I am, I came across a european site that has taken legos and blown them into the stratosphere! The result is a bridge and shuttle of the original Enterprise, that puts all my models to shame. I must say either he is a genius or too much time on his hands. Look for yourself, these sets are amazingly accurate! The best lego creations sense the dawn of mankind.

the Enterprise NCC-1701 Bridge:

The Enterprise's shuttle Copernicus:

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Frank Miller's Sin City

But first, a public service announcement. If you don’t care, skip ahead to the marked section below.

Sorry to all of those who got a little more than expected with this film. Had I been arranging this whole thing, I would’ve at least warned you in advance. This ain’t your traditional, Spider-Man comic book adaptation. It ain’t even X-Men or Hellboy. This is a whole new breed that I hope is here to stay.

That said, to those who HAVEN’T seen the film…this is probably the most violent film you’ll ever see, or at least the most violent of any you’ve seen to date. It ain’t just bullet holes, kids…read that R rating real close, then multiply.
The NY Times always does the best job of saying what all gives a given film its R rating, especially the ones they tend not to like as much. This from their review:
“The film contains a smorgasbord of stylized, generally unrealistic-looking violent acts, including a lot of dismemberment; there is also alcohol use, adult language, some hanky-panky and many women in various stages of undress.”
The Oregonian’s Movie Guide for Parents takes it the rest of the way:
“…this is an intensely violent, even sadistic film that objectifies women and glorifies gore…deal with a criminal who rapes and murders young girls; a well-connected murderer of prostitutes who (SPOILER BEEP!) his victims…The violence may be ultra-stylized and the blood whit, but it feels real. Heads and limbs and body parts are lopped off. Other mayhem features an electrocution, the whipping of a bound woman, skull smashings, characters shoved headfirst into toilets, a priest shot in a confessional, and a graphic suicide.”

If that kinda thing is cool with you, or if you really dig violent films (there’s nothing wrong with that…it’s just storytelling)


Little less than a year ago, last July at the San Diego ComiCon, us fans got our first glimpse of this “Sin City” film adaptation we’d been hearing about. And the first of that was this big-ass red poster with Mickey Rourke as Marv walking, head bent down, face covered in bandages. It said in big, bold, comic-book type “MICKEY ROUKE is MARV” and had the accompanying title of Frank Miller’s Sin City, a logo done up just like the comic book. And most of us didn’t believe this was an actual studio poster. And yet it was. Then the footage was shown, including the scene that now opens the film. And it was all exactly like the comic book. EXACTLY. It was perfect.

Finally, here was a film adaptation that didn’t just love the source material. It WORSHIPPED it. Spider-Man got damn close. Hellboy got EVEN CLOSER. But this…this was a whole ’nother league of comic book adaptation.

And the finished product is nothing short of what we’ve been promised all this time. Absolutely, through and through, from the title to each glorious frame, this IS Frank Miller’s Sin City.

It’s impossible to capture that greatness of this film in words. First because it’s that good, but second because it’s such a visual piece of work, it must be seen to be believed. It’s this kind of storytelling you don’t get anymore about places that don’t exist and people that could have never lived. Like Harry Knowles of Ain’t It Cool News puts it, this is what movies were like before we wanted our boring-ass lives up there on the screen. This is dialogue that no one says but is just flat-out right.

My dad’s been saying for some time that there’s no MEN on the movie screen anymore. And in many ways, he’s right. Like I pointed out to him tonight after leaving the theater, you can’t totally say that anymore. Mickey Rourke’s Marv is the baddest of bad. You think Kill Bill's Bride is an antihero? Not even close to this. The stuff Marv does is pretty damn extreme, but given what he’s up against in the story, this ain’t no sicko. But he is one bad motherfucker. And Rourke plays it so beautifully. This rivals Ron Perlman’s Hellboy it’s that good. Even when Carla Gugino is walking around nearly entirely you nude, your eyes are on Mickey.

Marv’s story holds another standout performance in Elijah Woods’ Kevin, which is just fantastic. Think of the most evil character you’ve ever seen in a movie. This guy shatters that in the first glance you get at those eyes. This guy’s not just an exact match to the comic…he’s WAY scarier.

On that subject…Nick Stahl’s Yellow Bastard. Holy freaking shit.

The other "heroes"…Clive Owen is fantastic. Dwight’s always been close to my heart, but Owen just gives him this whole other dimension. Was a little worried about casting Owen as a tough guy, but he NAILS it. Bruce Willis, though never actually seeming as old as his character, is Hartigan through and through. Rosario Dawson…knew she could nail it, and she delivered. In a world filled with tough guys, here’s a woman who could just annihilate most of them. Benicio Del Toro was an inspired casting choice, and he went above and beyond what I expected.

But the real surprise performance…Jessica Alba. Nancy’s a fantastic character, but oddly enough Alba is PERFECT. Sure, she doesn’t strip down as the comic would demand, but she looks that part and she acts the part. I loathed her being cast in this film, and even more in Fantastic Four. Now she’s an actress to watch.

And, you know, for all the seemingly mindless violence, there is this underlying story in which good does win out in the ends, though the costs may be great. For all their bad qualities, Marv and Dwight and Hartigan do what they do to protect people, specifically women. They shove all hope aside to do the right thing.
There’s so much more I could say about this. This is easily director Robert Rodriguez’s (of the Spy Kids trilogy, Desperado, and Once Upon a Time in Mexico) finest work, and having Frank Miller on as co-director…his presence was felt every step of the way. These two have created what I thoroughly believe will be a huge note in cinematic history. Sky Captain introduced audiences (those who bothered to see the genius of that work) to the possibilities of this technology. Sin City implemented them in ways above and beyond that. Like I said…it must be seen to be believed. If Rodriguez and Miller don’t come back for the next set of Sin City yarns (I simply MUST see A Dame to Kill For), there will be a hole in film progression.

Green Eggs and Ham

So the thought occured to me the other day about Dr. Seuss' famed childrens book, Green Eggs and Ham, if the ham was green as well. If you read the book it says "green eggs and ham", never does it say, "green eggs and green ham", only "green eggs". Now this can be taken two ways; either the adjective "green" applies to both the eggs and the ham, or only the eggs. Now if you read the book you will notice that the ham is colored green. However the eggs are also white, which leads me to believe that the words and the pictures are in contrast, because if the pictures were strictly correct, the title would be "Green and White Eggs and Green Ham". And if the words were strictly correct, then the ham would not be colored green. So my question to you is this; "Is the ham in Green Eggs and Ham green?"

On a related topic, if you replace the words "eat them with "do it" the book is very dirty. Take some lines for example:

"Would you do it here?
Would you do it there?
Would you do it with a mouse?
Would you do it in a house?
Would you do it with a fox?
Would you do it in a box?
Would you do on a train?"
etc. etc. etc.

This brings up a clever question, "Would you do it with a fox or a mouse, in box or in a house?"

I know I would.

Vote or DIE

So i was listening to the greatness of THE HIVES song "The Hives- Introduce The Metric System In Time"
So here is the question: Should i switch my senior project topic two days before i present?
Old topic: Robots in the Workforce: Friend vs. Foe
New topic: "Bringing the Metric System to Time"

vote for your favorite topic please

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Game 1

We tied, 1-1. Our new star Matt gave me a good assist, but with less than five minutes left Mr. Benware's son Nathan (who plays for Lincoln) flopped and got a PK, which he promptly put away. We also lost Mike and Lauren (from St. Mary's) to injuries. So kind of a disappointing ending. I have put some pictures on the Flickr link in the sidebar, but I've already exceeded the month's limit, so I will begin abusing the system by creating Yahoo accounts until the job is done. Anyway, use the slideshow. Its almost like you were there. But you weren't, because we had no support.

post script
I apologize for my recent monopolization of the blog.
"When you wonder about the mystery of yourself, look to Christ, who gives you the meaning of life. When you wonder what it means to be a mature person, look to Christ, who is the fulfillness of humanity. And when you wonder about your role in the future of the world look to Christ."

"Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song."

"Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence."

We were blessed to have him as our pope.

Friday, April 01, 2005


You probably already heard that the comedian Mitch Hedberg died yesterday. I really liked his stuff. He had a unique voice and very skilled delivery that text could never translate, but I thought I'd share some of the best anyway, as a small token of my respect for his talent:

-It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky. "Look what I got motherfucker!"

-The thing about tennis is: no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once, they're fucking relentless.

-You know they call corn-on-the-cob "corn-on-the-cob," but that's how it comes out of the ground. They should just call it corn, and every other type of corn "corn-off-the-cob". It's not like if someone cut off my arm they would call it "Mitch", and then re-attach it, and call it "Mitch-all-together".

-2-in-1 is a bullshit term. 1 is not big enough to hold 2, that's why 2 was created.

-If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up.

-I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.

- Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic.
Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.

-I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.

-I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow shit.

-My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! Fuck. Seven. I need more dice, 4 billion divided by 6, at least."

-This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be hard.

-You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

-I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

- I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

-I never joined the army because at ease was never that easy to me. Seemed rather uptight still. I don't relax by parting my legs slightly and putting my hands behind my back. That does not equal ease. At ease was not being in the military. I am at ease, bro, because I am not in the military.

-Why are there no during pictures?

I'll try to find a video or sound clip, because you have to have his voice and tone in your head while you read it to get the full impact of this man's genius.

post script
The Game was a total success. The short story paper for AP English that I wrote in the time between the time of 7:30 and 1:30 (without a free period) got a 98. I did have most of the conclusion written down when I got to school, but the rest I wrote in a journal during another class then transcribed in what library time I had. And there was a paragraph I wrote after leaving English class with about 15 minutes left, pretending to go upstairs and print it because I had found a typo. Ha! There were typos abound in the final version. I seriously think the man favors me because of our pre-Jesuit acquiantance. There were some pretty good ideas in there, and more style than I normally have, but I read it a few minutes ago and was cringing at the many awkward places and typos I didn't have time to check for.

post post script
Wilco and Bright Eyes are on Austin City Limits at 11, so you should probably watch that.


holy crap that is one big pig!

1,000 lbs and 8 feet long

look at the post above!

*Dr. Evil Voice* Ten MILLION Dollars!

The Outsiders Looking In

Here is the question: What would you do with 10 Million dollars? Would you be greedy and spend it all on yourself? Would you plan ahead and invest some of it, if so how? What would you buy and how would you use the money?

10 million dollars? Two words: shopping spree! Personally I hate shopping, but when you have 10 million dollars, you can actually afford to buy just about anything. The main thing I hate abotu shopping is the buyer's regret. You know the feeling, where you start to question your choice, "you know, i think the blue shoes would have looked better than the grey ones". With 10 million dollars, you don't have to suffer from buyer's regret for quite a while. You can just go back and buy the grey shoes as well as the blue ones.

My list of things I would buy:
--1965 Ford Mustang, Black, Convertible, Good Chrome
--Basically the parts to build 4 or 5 top of the line computers
--a LEGIT copy of Windows XP Pro
--Buy a new house, pay in full for the parents, completely renovated
--Buy a beach house
--Give a million to each of the parents for IRA (Retirement account)
--Buy a trip into space in the Spaceship 1
--Buy a seat on a submersible to visit the Titanic
--Buy a B-17 bomber from the junk yards in New Mexico
--Invest the rest

PS I made a comment in the Topic "One Day Left" however it doesn't appear that the date updated. Just wanted you to be aware that there is new stuff there.

PPS The news just went up on that the Pope is in a coma. Just thought that you guys would want to know