Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Bored in Portland

Well, I'm just hangin' out here in P-town watching Seinfeld. Ben asked me to give a football post so I'll just briefly explain the college football picture as I see it. I'll start off with the Ivy League. When the preseason rankings were released earlier this week Penn was ranked first. Cornell was fifth, and Columbia...dead last. When your dead last in the Ivy League you must be bad.


Since this post is for Ben I may as well mention Notre Dame. Perhaps the biggest news in the offseason was the Irish's signing of Coach Charlie Weis. Notre Dame should be much improved this year. However, they start off with two road games, at Pitt and at Michigan. That's a tough way to start the season and I don't see them winning either of them. They should handle Michigan St. and UW. Then they got USC. After that, the only tough team they have is Tennessee at home. This one could go either way. However, I think the Volunteers will pull it off. Final record for the Irish: 7-4 (maybe 6-5 if they blow it against Purdue).


And as for the national championship....USC blows out Louisville for their third straight national championship.


Heisman winner: The President. Reggie Bush, the best football player in the nation. USC's new offensive coordinator has a game plan which is pretty much give the ball to Bush as much as possible.


So yeah, that's it. For those of you who don't have a football team I'm sorry....neither do I.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

The Library

I know it is nowhere near as amazing as the library most of your respective colleges, but I've got to say, I love our library at Marquette. Sure, to a true scholar/researcher/academic (or even graduate student) it probably seems like having a bowl of sliced apples when they really need a fruit cocktail, but to me it’s wonderful. I guess the content is only half of what I like so much. It’s awesome to have access to long-archived volumes of obscure newspaper clippings or forgotten essays on various topics, but it is also exciting to be in a place that looks and smells and feels like libraries do. Of course, our library isn't quite up to ideal. I bet the libraries at Cornell are pretty cool, huh? The libraries alone probably make all the work you put into getting there worth it (if not the excellent education... :P) Maybe I should be a university librarian... I think you have to be well educated and smart though. It’s probably hard to do. Even Mr. Lum with his librarian of the year award couldn't squirm out of the high school level. Wow, that sounded funny when it was still in my head... stupid head. Now I'm just rambling, so goodnight all, I'm off to read about Oscar Wilde, who is quickly becoming my favorite author, not that I'm familiar with that many...

Look at this

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Sobering. New Orleans has flooded and the water is still rising due to levee breaks late last night.

Monday, August 29, 2005

"Duke: The Harvard Of The South" or "What You Can Do With Your Tobacco Stained Dollars And A Dream"

(everybody here actually says "Harvard: The Duke Of The North", but whatever)

So I just got back from my first class, Ethics and Politics in Film, and decided to post something about school since just about everyone else has (god, such a follower). My first class was good, it only meets Monday and Wednesday mornings, and then there's a film screening every Monday night...some of these films are really obscure...they remind me of Chris Bakke. Hm. Then I have Spanish today...but I'm not gonna go. I'm gonna go to Latin instead, because I think I'm gonna switch out of Spanish. Latin has no speaking. Thank God. I think Sra. Circosta still thinks I'm mute.

Anyway, about Duke in general, there are a lot of great things about it.
The people are awesome. Everyone is really friendly, really nice, and Southern hospitality is no urban myth...yep, two guys actually did give up their seats on the bus for my roommate and I, and they all hold the doors open for you. And I keep running into the most impressive people...my neighbor on one side worked in a genome lab over the summer (? yeah, i know. so my kind of job), my neighbor on the other side runs a 4:40 mile ("but my two mile is better, it's a 10:20." "...oh, uh, yeah, that's much more impressive. hm. i'll go back to swimming now.") and almost everyone is either now an athlete or was an athlete in college but can't make the Duke team because we're decent at some things.
As far as living conditions, my room is huge. There are three girls, but we have enough room that we're going to get a futon for recruits and a rug to make things more homey. Both my roommates are really cool...I was afraid that rooming with two swimmers, we'd all be stressed out and competitive, but they're as blase about swimming as I am...we know we "athlete-ed" into college, and hey, we worked our butts off to do it, no shame in that. Although it was pretty funny when we were all trying to set up our computers and we had guys in and out of our room trying to help us. I live on East Campus, which is about a 3 minute bus ride from West Campus. West Campus is where the Upper Classmen live, and where I have to go for swim practice...it's the one with the chapel that is in all those pictures of Duke. East Campus is where all the freshmen live, and it looks a lot like University of Virginia, complete with rotunda.

So the bad things. Yep, the basketball team is exalted above all. Like I was expecting different...the running joke is that our motto "Eruditio et Religio" is actually "Eruditio et Basketballio." But it definitely gets rubbed in your face. The basketball players get to live in what is essentially a hotel built for them, called the Bell Tower dorm. It's huge, with 62 inch plasma screen TVs in their common rooms. And my room, that's so huge with three girls? Yeah, they used to give it to two basketball players before Bell Tower was built.
Oh, and some dorms get air conditioning (like Bell Tower)...yeah, we don't. The humidity is un believable, and we have tons of fans going, but you just feel tired and sticky have the time...I'm getting used to it, though, so it's not that bad...like living in a suana. Believe it or not, I've been practically living in tank tops, flip flops...and skirts (what? katie? skirt? almost every day?). Yep. It's the most comfortable, so there it is.
I have to take the bus to practice in the mornings because it's on west...oh, wait, no, it's so early there are no buses. I have to call Safe Rides to drive me to the pool. Every. Single. Morning.
The partying is ridiculous here, but I knew that going in, and there are a lot of people who don't drink. Plus, there's no pressure to do it if you don't want to...it's just kind of a live and let live.
People are really preppy here. You think you know preppy when you go to Jesuit, you have no idea. There are brands here en masse that I've only read about in Vogue. Some girls where pearls every day. And the croquet players out on the lawn, with sweaters tied around their shoulders...it's insane. But it's also kind of nice, like people aren't total slobs...I don't know, kinda like dress up mass everyday. I'm sure as the year progresses and it gets colder, there will be more sweatpants whipped out.

So, yeah, I just wrote you guys a novel for when you're sitting in your dorm room between classes thinking "Okay, so, I just had class, but I don't have homework, it's not time for any meal, and I have a couple of hours to burn and have nothing to do...maybe I should check the blog, maybe Katie posted...oh wait, she never posts, what am I thinking, that's like saying maybe Katie will start wearing skirts and will think preppiness looks nice."

It's a good thing I don't mind being ironic.

p.s. My computer hates me. I don't think I'm going to be on AIM ever, unless my computer signs me on without my consent, so e-mail or write me a letter or text or call instead...oh, and I think I messed up my address when I gave it to Cynda...instead of Giles 115, write P.O. Box 92777...otherwise it's right.

p.p.s. I miss you guys.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

End of the World as We Know It (At Least in Louisiana)

So, New Orleans is about to get levelled by one of the most powerful hurricanes in the history of the world. Katrina, which already killed 7 in Florida, skipped over land and buzzsawed through the Gulf of Mexico, gaining strength from a tropical storm right up to a Category 5 (Catastrophic) hurricane with winds of 175 MPH and gusts of up to 215 MPH. Its central pressure is down to 902 MB, which means the storm has the potential to strengthen even more. Hurricane-force winds will extend from the center of the hurricane 200 miles in all directions. For a sense of how powerful this is, imagine an F3 tornado coming ashore... an F3 tornado with a radius of 200 miles.

Hurricane Andrew has got nothing on this one, folks. All of New Orleans is below sea level and protected by flimsy levees, so a direct hit by Katrina will most likely flood the city for days or even weeks, and the winds will level any old buildings and severely damage everything else. New Orleans' shelter of last resort, the Superdome, is built only to sustain winds of up to 200 MPH. In short, this hurricane has the potential to wipe the city off the map, and it looks like it probably will.

So in conclusion, I am a loser weather nerd and please pray for the people of New Orleans, especially Erin who has been evacuated with the rest of Loyola New Orleans to Baton Rouge.

Here is the NOAA's hurricane report as of this afternoon:

URGENT - WEATHER MESSAGE
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE NEW ORLEANS LA
1011 AM CDT SUN AUG 28 2005

...DEVASTATING DAMAGE EXPECTED...

.HURRICANE KATRINA...A MOST POWERFUL HURRICANE WITH UNPRECEDENTED STRENGTH...RIVALING THE INTENSITY OF HURRICANE CAMILLE OF 1969.

MOST OF THE AREA WILL BE UNINHABITABLE FOR WEEKS...PERHAPS LONGER. AT LEAST ONE HALF OF WELL CONSTRUCTED HOMES WILL HAVE ROOF AND WALL FAILURE. ALL GABLED ROOFS WILL FAIL...LEAVING THOSE HOMES SEVERELY DAMAGED OR DESTROYED.

THE MAJORITY OF INDUSTRIAL BUILDINGS WILL BECOME NON FUNCTIONAL. PARTIAL TO COMPLETE WALL AND ROOF FAILURE IS EXPECTED. ALL WOOD FRAMED LOW RISING APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL BE DESTROYED. CONCRETE BLOCK LOW RISE APARTMENTS WILL SUSTAIN MAJOR DAMAGE...INCLUDING SOME WALL AND ROOF FAILURE.

HIGH RISE OFFICE AND APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL SWAY DANGEROUSLY...A FEW TO THE POINT OF TOTAL COLLAPSE. ALL WINDOWS WILL BLOW OUT.

AIRBORNE DEBRIS WILL BE WIDESPREAD...AND MAY INCLUDE HEAVY ITEMS SUCH AS HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES AND EVEN LIGHT VEHICLES. SPORT UTILITY VEHICLES AND LIGHT TRUCKS WILL BE MOVED. THE BLOWN DEBRIS WILL CREATE ADDITIONAL DESTRUCTION. PERSONS...PETS...AND LIVESTOCK EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL FACE CERTAIN DEATH IF STRUCK.

POWER OUTAGES WILL LAST FOR WEEKS...AS MOST POWER POLES WILL BE DOWN AND TRANSFORMERS DESTROYED. WATER SHORTAGES WILL MAKE HUMAN SUFFERING INCREDIBLE BY MODERN STANDARDS.

THE VAST MAJORITY OF NATIVE TREES WILL BE SNAPPED OR UPROOTED. ONLY THE HEARTIEST WILL REMAIN STANDING...BUT BE TOTALLY DEFOLIATED. FEW CROPS WILL REMAIN. LIVESTOCK LEFT EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL BEKILLED.

AN INLAND HURRICANE WIND WARNING IS ISSUED WHEN SUSTAINED WINDS NEAR HURRICANE FORCE...OR FREQUENT GUSTS AT OR ABOVE HURRICANE FORCE...ARE CERTAIN WITHIN THE NEXT 12 TO 24 HOURS.

ONCE TROPICAL STORM AND HURRICANE FORCE WINDS ONSET...DO NOT VENTURE OUTSIDE!

Chicago - The beautiful city of thieves.

Yesterday I got my first real tastes of the city, complete with eight story malls, the magnificent mile, and stores so fancy and expensive I swear the store attendants thought I was some low life teenager who was going to steal their 500 dollar purses because I was wearing a t-shirt and jeans and chewing bubble gum; I didn't dare touch anything.

But what was the most interesting was something that Nancy told me we even have in Portland but that I have never seen. There were people on the street and they would paint themselves in a solid color and then wear clothes of the exact same color and pretend to be statues. I would have thought they were statues had there not been a bucket of money in front of them. What was the most interesting though was when someone would try to touch them to see if they were real they would come to life and move roboticly, even their eye movements seemed robotic.

Anyway this brings me to why Chicago is the city of thieves. While watching one of these people a man came up and stole the bucket of money and started running, spilling the money all over the street and people started diving for the money. Now keep in mind at one intersection you can find hundreds of people trying to cross the street so you can imagine the chaos that this brought about.

After that, as we were walking, I took notice of everyone around me and realized that every woman had her purse not only slung over her shoulder but a firm grasp on it as well and that no one simply strolled or stopped; everyone is in constant motion and even when crossing the street the masses don't stop causing traffic jams where cars are stuck in the middle of intersection blocking all the traffic in the downtown area. It's definitely not the cars you have to worry about running you over, it's the people.

I'd say the high point of the day was finding a McDonald's that was so fancy it had high back upholstered chairs like the kind you find in someone's expensive living room or personal library and the people in there were dressed like the were going to a formal ball or something.

Chicago is intense.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Another full-proof plan

I just figured out a plan to be instantly popular in college. One that doesn't involve getting shitfaced. Or at least not my face shitted. The plan: Vicariousness. See, I know Ken, and Ken is suddenly a big man on campus. He is a part of an elite team of assassians, and by assassains, I mean a capella singers. Ken is now officially a part of Cayuga's Waiters, Cornell's top a capella group. They are best known for the song We Didn't go to Harvard, which you can download from their website, and is an amazing song and one that has been in my head since I've gotten here. So, after auditions the waiters told everyone that they'd go to their dorms and tell them if they got in or not (this was after call-backs). They got to Ken's, he was there with Meg (ask him for more details) and her 2-door-down-neighbor, they take him to his room to talk, tell him he didn't get in, and eventually telling him that he in fact did get in. They then dumped a shitload of beer on him. After that the details get sketchy, but it does involve Ken humping the floor (wait, sorry, he did that sober). Anyway, Cornell is awesome. Dispite the diversity that they are so proud of, I have noticed that everyone seems pretty much the same. We all applied here, and got in, which brings in a suprisingly homogenous populous. Noone is that big of an asshole, even the people who party all the time. That, and everyone is either from Jersey or Long Island. Huge change: Jewish people. Not that I have a problem with it, it is just a huge change from one Avital in the whole school. Speaking of which, I am taking a class on Shakespere (not totally my fault) It is a huge change going from Joe Fruectel to well, anything. Anyway, Cornell is beautiful, it is already starting to get cold and fall-y. I have a great view from my room on the 6th floor. My roommate is cool, and is from a Jesuit school, so we have a lot in common. My math class is like a sci-fi convention, which could be expected, but its really cool to have a math class go at a decent pace for once in my life. Even though i do have several hours of homework that i don't understand one iota, but anyway... Saw Dr. Strangeglove in theaters for free, which defintely kicked ass. Walked alot. Note: Noone who walks a half mile to classes can complain. I've got at least a mile uphill bothways. Lessie, I don't think I have anything else to say, except that sandels kick ass, ben sucks, ben better get his ass on facebook, and everyone get skype, becasue I paid $20 for a microphone, and i'll be pissed if i don't get to use it.

PS: I didn't mean there to be a pun in the title, merely a stupid typo, but ian showed me that it makes sense as a pun, so it stays.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Budweiser: A Beer in Review

Just kidding, but yeah, I spoke too soon about the induction being a piece of cake. This morning, at three, we got pulled out of bed, made to strip down to our boxers and run around the campus, through a fountain, across the Library Mall, and then finish with a dip in one of the lakes. (It was disgustingly warm. I'm pretty sure that was the lake that the power plant drains into.) God knows what would have followed had they not realized they forgot to collect the "voluntary" waivers we were supposed to have signed. It was pretty fun, but I was dead for classes today. The good news is that John and I have a class together and we're both seeing Cake tonight. The bad news is that at five (i.e. an hour from now, my time) the second half of Disorientation begins and will probably make up for the ease of this morning. Through the day, we were supposed to wear this really close-fitting tank top they made for the guys on my floor (this is done by floors). Mine says "I AM NOT WELL ENDOWED" on the front, along with "CALL ME" and my phone number. My roommate had the same shirt because we are a team in the scavenger hunt we had today. He took care of the interesting stuff like procuring female undergarments, while I stuck with the mundane like collecting pamphlets. (It's definitely a sign that I was raised liberal Catholic that I can humor a seventy year old nun, who actually thinks I want to be a priest, for fifteen minutes, while I don't give the ROTC lady the time of day.) I also got the second-most (I think) powerful man on campus to sign my copy of the student guide. But yeah, I decided it would be dishonest of me, and a crime against the ladies of Notre Dame, to wear that shirt, so I successfully evaded detection all day not wearing it. I figure I'll just endure the first few hours of this evening, go to the Cake concert, and then find a 24-hour lounge to hide in until late tomorrow morning. At least that's the plan. Keep me in your prayers.

post script
While walking around campus today listening to it on my iPod mini, I realized that having Shakeer create a mixtape for you is like having Michaelangelo paint your ceiling, or me father your children. It's a gift of such beauty that you know you'll never be able to pay it back and accept it as the grace of God.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Lance did drugs?

I posted this over at my blog, but there's a very small cross-readership. Some of you may be aware that of the glorified figures in society, I hate Oprah Winfrey more than all others. But the Church of Lance Armstrong is getting ridiculous as well (who will even CARE who wins the Tour next year with Lance gone? No one), so I figured ya'll should know that the director of the Tour de France says that newfound evidence has completely convinced him Lance Armstrong was on some kind of performance-enhancing drug during the 1999 Tour de France. Will this lead to more of Lance's supposed victories being proven false? Time shall tell.

Here's the story at Sports Illustrated, along with Lance's comments (in the interest of fair and balanced reporting).

In other news from the crazy part of America (this one you've probably heard), Pat Robertson, longtime prominent figure in the Conservative Christian sector, thinks we should kill the Venezuelan president, Hugo Chavez. But Robertson's been a bit of a nutjob for awhile (same guy who prayed for "more vacancies on the court"), so it's really just the continuing circus.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

FOX News is on the Communal Televisions Here. It's Rubbing Off.

Hate to break up this streak of great blogging with a serious post, but I have something I have to say. I hate flip-flops. On males. They look ridiculous. Especially here at ND. We're not in the O.C., this is fucking Indiana. Does it even border a Great Lake? If so, barely. I expected to see less coming here, not more. When the fad started, I figured it was just that flip-flops made a guy look like a tool, now I understand that they mean he is a tool. Some guys can pull them off. The vast majority can't. This article, long in coming, was triggered by something I saw after the beginning-of-school Mass yesterday. Walking towards the picnic, I saw a guy in a pink button-down shirt, flowered tie, light khaki slacks, and some of the queerest flip-flops I have ever seen. And he didn't even have the courtesy not to be ugly. This trend is a disgrace to the gender. Why not just wave a white flag to the terrorists, or better yet, gain French citizenship? In my opinion, it's as if you are signing away your manhood by wearing them. How the hell are you gonna fight bad guys in flip-flops? If you're gonna wear some ridiculous footwear, make it cowboy boots. At least they have some masculinity. So in summation, my vast American male reading audience, don't wear flip-flops. They're completely notdude. And tell your buddies flip-flops are for fags. Thank you, goodnight, and God bless America.

post script
Engineering honor students get their own lounge. I'm going to take advantage of it this year, as I may be switching majors come April. Its really nice. Big room in a century-old building, fifty feet of windows, and all the amenities you could ask for other than a swimming pool with spouts that pour out pink bubbles. It makes me feel like a prefect.

post post script
I've got such a dude crew going.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

And I thought I was going to a nice Catholic school...

One of the many parties hosted by LUC students:

This party is an open party for all virgins that are just tired of being virgins. Why not lose it with style and grace by having a 40 person orgie!? I say this is the best way to just pull the trigger and finally just do it. We will also have a resident PRO who will go over the basics and those special techniques one would like to figure out.

We will have refreshements and cookies, but we only have a limited supply.. Q101 concert condoms will be distributed for all in quantities so come on and join us, for those who do not want condoms the morning after pill will be offered on sunday morning for a discounted price of $15.00


So have fun and come out. All are welcome! preferably virgins, but experts are welcome.

Lucky me!

Sunday, August 21, 2005

News From the Front

Well gang, I guess I'll beat John to the punch and post about the goings-on here at Notre Dame. First of all, my residence hall is basically Gryffindor. (Oh, I got three quick HP-ND fun facts for you. First, the kid who created Mugglenet is in the freshman class. Second, me and JB's dining hall was the basis for the the one in the Harry Potter movies. Third, you can impress girls when you tell them you play Muggle Quidditch. Well, at least that one girl from Georgia.) Anyway, back to the hall. It's the dudest bunch of guys ever. (Yeah, dudest is a new adjective I invented. Its pretty dude, if you ask me.) It's like living with 8 times as many FME guys. When I come back, don't be surprised if my dude-level is off the charts. They were already handing out cigars Friday night and giving tips on how to drink (as a Freshman) and get away with it (according to our rector, Fr. Pete, it's pretty easy and very much accepted, as you don't get drunk in the hallways. Then they fine you like $15.) So yeah, I've decided that if I am to resist the partying my hall is very famous for, I will need to put The Plan into action. The Plan is to be like one of those rich guys in the Civil War who sent another guy in his place to fight. So, I'll just tell my dude about the party and send him off. He'll be like, "Yeah, I'm drinking for Ben" and then he'll get plastered and tell me the day later. I'm pretty sure The Plan is completely flawless. But for being so much like a fraternity, induction was really tame. Really. The most I did was race other guys to finish the water in a baby bottle. It was really tough. Then I caught this praying mantis in the bottle. It was huge and attacked my shoe. Yeah, everyone thought that was pretty dude of me. Then we just went around singing to all the girls dorms. We were really good at Hero and I Want It That Way, but not so much at Afternoon Delight. Then we had a midnight tour, including under the Golden Dome (yeah, Keough was the only hall let in there the first night, no big) where we sang the alma mater song while doing the Jesuit sway except in a big circle. It was pretty dude. Yesterday we got up and escorted our sister hall to breakfast. We were paired up, hence the Georgian. The upperclassmen like doing this to us. Last night was Domerfest, and we took Lewis Hall. My girl (#46) was Texan and did her best to teach me how to dance. They also had a lot of Senior Party-esque materials like the Sumo suit and many inflatable things. But instead of that, we played Egyptian Rat Screw with some other folks. I represented, coming in second to the girl who started the game and won because she taught everyone this rule that you can automatically slap twos, and she was the only person who ever remembered it. She was from Rochester, so that's now dubbed New York style. After impressing them with my mad Rubik's skills, I took the Texan home and stopped by the Grotto. I've done it each night so far. I want to make it tradition, hope I can hold up in those cold winter nights. Oh yeah, they did the pairing up again tonight, with Cavanuagh hall, except this time instead of numbers, we found our partner as the other half of a famous couple. Believe it or not, I was Don Quixote. Totally random, and there were like 50 guys. Dulcinea was a bit of a disappointment. They forced us to swing dance and she was even worse then me. I think her problem was that she was from Philly. I'm gonna stick with the Southern belles. I actually kind of liked the dancing though, probably because I was started to pick it up, and unlike dancing to hip hop or whatever shit DJs throw out there, there are things you can learn . I know that is still very notdude of me. I'm sorry. Charlie Weis talked to our class today, that was pretty dude. I missed the Mass before it though, slept through it. And then I forgot I needed to go to Sunday night Mass in the hall, so I went to this stupid party over at St. Mary's College. The only good part was the band (all guys) covered 80's hits, especially one's sung by women. And they sang Tainted Love. It wasn't a complete waste, I got a ticket to go see Cake (and Akon) on Friday. But yeah, kind of feel bad because that's the first Sunday Mass I've missed in like eight years. I'll just hafta dedicate 10% of my poker winnings to the church. These guys think they're pretty hot stuff; I'll let you know the results (if I win.) Anyway, that was basically the most drawn out and self-satisfying post I've ever made, I'm sorry. Hope you're all doing well. Talk to me on AIM, because I'm pretending to myself that I don't, but I miss you guys something awful and it's only been a week.

post script
I'm getting a weird feeling here. It's like, these guys are here from across the country, but a lot of them in my hall, like two dozen, it's like I recognize them. It's actually more than recognize. It's like I've known them before but can't remember where from. I think the 98% humidity is getting to me. Oh, and I've already got a hero. Man, Giff is cool!

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Why everyone should drive to college:

So basically I was going to fill this post with many up close pictures of bison, elk, moose, and really cool gysers but alas my camera software is packed away and I thus am unable to do so! :(

BUT, it has been really fun because while in yellowstone there were elk and bison walking along the road right by the cars they were so close that you could reach out and touch them. I however did not do this (obviously).

Also while driving through Wyoming I realized that there is nothing there!! I mean it's beautiful but boy it hit me when we passed a sign on the outside of a town that said "population 10" and saw a sign declaring Crazy Lady River was only a mile away.

Finally, and this is the clincher, as my mom and I were driving through Gillete, Wyoming a bridal party was celebrating with the bride and groom by following them down main street with pick-up trucks while the bride and groom waved at them from the back of another truck (complete with cowboy hats). Anyway it was quite a spectacle as all the pick-ups slowed and turned on their flashers while honking and then brides maids and grooms men jumped from the back of the pick-ups and chased after the bride and groom. Ah, don't you just love hick weddings! Oh and btw the wedding took place in a park just between k-mart and walmart!!

See and this is the kind of stuff you miss out on when you fly!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

the airport system

So, first post I’ve had in a while, but today's debacle deserves one and since you all seem to delight in my suffering, at least ken does, I thought I would share my experience. So I woke up this morning at around 3am (after falling asleep at 1 cause I couldn't before that) I quickly found that the awaiting day was not going to be much fun. Stumbling around, I managed to eat a quick pop tart and put my contacts in. About halfway to the airport I realized I not only had my contacts in the wrong eyes, but one of them was also in backward (which I found hurts quite badly after an hour or so). So when we got to the airport, security decided to give me more than just the once over and I spent close to 30min convincing the personnel that a cracked CD case and power cord were not dangerous enough to be classified as 'weapons'. Getting to the plane was easy and I enjoyed a nice take off which went straight into turbulence… for the next 3 and a half hours. It stopped for 20min in the middle but that was my only reprieve. Getting off in Dallas was fine, only the airport was huge and we got lost twice on the way to our next flight. I even asked for directions only to find out later that they were wrong and the guy who gave them to us was just full of crap. However, before boarding the next flight I found a shiny new penny and put it in my pocket. Confident that my luck was going to change I boarded the aircraft. Getting to Tennessee was uneventful, but the airplane was cramped and some fat guys next to me had forgotten to put on deodorant. After landing we went to the baggage claim... Setting a new record, the airport not only lost all 5 of our bags (including my computer) but the damn woman in Oregon only gave us 3 of the 5 claim tickets (meaning we had no proof). And they couldn't even find the records of our luggage which we had tickets for in their system. So I am stuck here with 1 spare pair of clothing (which is a t-shirt and my swimming trunks), an Ipod (thank god), enough contacts to last me for 4 months and no idea if I will ever see my computer or clothing again. To top this all off, the next thing that I ate after the pop tart was a McDonald’s burger at 6pm Oregon time when my grandparents bought us dinner (for those who don’t know, McDonalds on an empty stomach does bad things, such as cramps, nausea, enhanced dehydration, epilepsy and death depending on your taste buds). And I wasn't able to fall asleep on the plane's either... because I can't. Don’t ask me why, cause I dunno. So that’s my sob story, feel free to pat me on the back or laugh at my misfortune, but either way the lessons learned today are: The airport system sucks ass and the lucky penny doesn't always come through.

Monday, August 15, 2005

You need to get an envelope sealer.

Doug, Ian, Maggie, and I have been searching for envelope sealers ever since we saw them at Pioneer Square for $30. Those were fancy and way out of our budget. So today, we stopped by Michaels and found some for $5 in the bridal section. I am so excited to go to college now..just so I can write letters to people and seal the envelopes with candle wax like in the old days. Everyone should get one. Seriously.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

My house. Tuesday. 7. Be there.

Well I am having a party at my house on Tuesday at 7.

I realize peolpe are going to the beach, but I can't due to all the stuff I have to acomplish before leaving. So if you're back in time come by and if you're not going definately come!

If you feel up to the challenge you could bring some soda or something but it's much more important that you bring yourself as this will be the last chance I will have to see you guys. So hopefully you all can make it!!

Friday, August 12, 2005

In Commemoration of the One-Year Anniversary

The Four Horsemen of the Status Quo sallied forth on this fine day exactly one year ago. While my mind is shot at the moment, and cannot compose any ornate prose, epic ballads, limericks or haiku, I invite all of you to have at it. For though we have been plagued with squabbles, bandwidth difficulties, struggles for blogging rights, the occasional pointless post and anonymous poster...it's been grand.

In other news...Masterbet 05 has been terminated. There were five winners. They have gloating rights, and can disclose it at their leisure.

Monday, August 08, 2005

And now you have your Thursday night cut out for you too

Hey it's A. My parents are crazy so I am driving to college, which means I leave this Saturday. Before this happens, however, I'd like to throw a little going away shebang in the park just down the hill from my house this Thursday from 5 till whenever. Details are forthcoming, but we will need a kickball and basketballs/ soccer balls are cool to have around too. And tennis racquets. Et cetera. I can probably hook up some BBQ if I can nab a picnic area from the soccer moms that control the place in the summer. If not there are uh... blackberries. And sandwiches!

(Basically, when you get to the parking lot at the bottom of the hill, walk along the asphalt path going by the entrance to the swim center until you see me burning things. Ideally, I'll be in the wooded area right by the creek and the freaky little green play structure right across from the tennis courts. DO NOT GO UP THE HILL THAT IS RACCOON TERRITORY AND DOGS POOP THERE IT'S GROSS OKAY)

Oh and there is open swim at the swimming place from 7:30-8:30 if people stick around for that long, so bring a swimsuit and like 5 bucks if you really want to go swimming. If you have a THPRD card it's cheaper.

So yeah. Tell people! And come! And party hard.

Call me/ im me if you need directions or further instructions or whatnot. It is directly down the hill from my crazy house, so if you've been there you've passed the park on the way.

Come say goodbye to me because I miss you all already!

Friday, August 05, 2005

My Last Day as a Working Stiff

So today the gang down at the Kid Mine (that's what I call the daycare as I gruffly joke with my dad about how tough and manly my job is) threw me a going away party. My boss bought me lunch, they brought in a cake and ice cream, and later in the afternoon we watched my Disney movie of choice, The Great Mouse Detective. Of course my favorite is Peter Pan, but I figured that would be an awkward selection, what with Michael Jackson and all. Anyway, it was all very sweet. The kids asked if they could come to my wedding. I'll miss them but I won't miss the job. I've been working there for a year and a quarter, and thus even the nostalgic fool in me is having a difficult time finding a reason to be sad at leaving. I had a good time playing with the kids, and it even changed my disinclination towards having a family, but if I stayed much longer War would have been the most complicated game I could play. So I took the remnants of my sheet cake and hit the road. "What's your road, man?-holyboy road, madman road, rainbow road, guppy road, any road. It's an anywhere road for anybody anyhow...." Yeah, its the most used quote from On the Road, but I just read that part today. I'm digging it.

post script
Before I worked there, I used to think that all those comical misspellings that kids do (the backwards S and whatnot) were just madeup. I can tell you that this is not the case. We'd play town (I was the millionaire, and I'll tell you, even play money corrupts) and the signs were crazy. This is a picture the kid who cried that his heart was broken when he lost at poker drew me:

Thursday, August 04, 2005

So I'm in DC now

I'm in DC now visiting family and touring the city. Guess what I ran into today almost completely by chance. No, I'll tell you. So I was running around the city in the scorching heat searching for a post office with only a few minutes left to 5 when I was told tha the only post office open later was like six blocks away at the National Postal Museum but that too closed soon. So I ran over there and posted my mail but then thought I'd buy me some Dr Seuss stamps because I've been looking for them all over lately but can't find them and the Stamp Store was nearby. The Stamp Store allegedly sells all stamps currently in circulation and even some that are not. Unfortunately, it was closed. On my way out of the building though, I noticed a big board with all these drawings of ducks. Immediately I thought, "oh ducks, like Nancy" and sure enough, hers was the first duck that caught my eye:


(click for the full-size)

Neat. There was a little quote about saving the environment that doesn't quite show up in the photo unfortunately.

SO WHAT HAVE YOU ALL BEEN UP TO?