Thursday, February 16, 2006

The 700th Post

So today I went to Burger King for lunch. And there I was just sitting eating my double-whopper when suddenly, completely out of the blue this guy walks up to me and says, "Are you from Boston, Massachusetts?"

I said no I wasn't and he proceded to sit down next to me and tell me how their is this kid in Boston who runs a bike shop and he looks "95%" like me.

And then he said, "So you're Irish then."

And I was like, "um no. a little bit of everthing, Croatian, German, Scottish--mostly Scottish."

And then he says, "So you like to work, huh?" I'm like, "what?" He says, "Oh yeah those Scottish they love to work, they're good workers." And this whole time he is kind of talking in this creepy Mr. Rogers-soft-but-elegant type of speech. I was really confused by now, and was kind of hopping that he would leave, but he didn't.

Determined to know where I was from he said, "But you weren't Born and raised here in portland." as if he were stateing a fact. I turned to him and noded my head, and said, "Yeah I was acctually."

He looked at me dumbfounded, "No way! You look too healthy to be an Oregonian! Everyone here is just hideous and overweight." I was a little confused so I laughed and he said something along the lines of him not likeing Oregon, and such. Not wanting to get into a fight with a crazy guy, I just laughed and continued eating my whopper.

But then he asked if school was out and I said that I was my lunch break, and he asked if i went
to PSU, I said that I didnt and that I went to UP.

He then said, "Oh yeah, thats just like Notre Dame...They have a good Soccer team don't they?" I was so confused, I just said, "Yeah, we won National Championships, there is a poster right outside on the lamp-post there." (And there was, because Mayor Potter had them put up Pilots-National Champions" posters all over Grand Ave.)

Hmm... this was getting wierd, finally he got bored and decided to leave, saying goodbye. Well I ate for another few minutes and then lef--half expecting him to jump out of the bushes yelling and tackleing me to the ground with a knife or something. Fortunatly he didn't. But as I got to my car I noticed that three or four of the cars parked in the BK parking lot all had suspicious looking men sitting in them, all of them had earpieces and each was holding either a book or a newspaper but not acctually looking at it, instead they were looking around--surveying the area, like a stake-out, it was strange.

Yeah, so now I have a gun sitting on my desk.

3 comments:

Ben said...

Hate to be nit-picky, but I believe Whopper is a proper noun.

Misha said...

good story. i liked it

Ken said...

You know how sometimes you're just scanning the blog and reading the last line of a post? :D You could have had so much fun with that guy if you'd pretended you were from Boston!