Thursday, April 20, 2006

OFFICIAL MAN'S CLUB BUSINESS

As of now, I am personally calling for Ben Vincent to be reinstated as President of Man's Club. Why, you may ask? Was not Pat Spear the measure to which all men could strive for? Did he not in fact have the greatest of all hook up stories? Perhaps, but recent evidence has suggested them to be just that...stories. So, pending a majority vote from the members of Man's Club (which as I recall consists of myself, Ben, Dave, Pat, Doug, Chuck, and Devon), Ben will henceforth be President. VOTE NOW!

18 comments:

Ben said...

I vote for me.

Unless Patrick Schneider will accept a write-in candidacy.

Doug said...

I cast my vote for the man with the biggest shlong, which certaintly isn't Pat

Ken said...

Sorry Doug, I'm not even in Man's Club.

Doug said...

Well, Ken, that's not what I heard. Word on the street is that well... I'll leave the rest to your imagination. So, I was thinking during rugby practice, seeing how rugby is the incarnation of man's club in sport form, that perhaps Ben isn't quite the ideal candidate for presidency. I think that his taste in music alone precludes him from manliness. So, after careful consideration, which coincidentaly included blows to the head, I think we should have a Califonia-style recall election going here. And as I recall, California elected the one with the biggest muscles. So, natually, I should be the natural choice. But for various reasons, none of which involve Cynda's input, I also do not think that I would be quite right for the throne, for so it is a throne. The president of man club have to have 3 things, namely 1. Loyalty of the club. 2. Manliness, and 3. The ability to pursue diplomatic (and sexual) relations with those outside the group, namely women. I believe that the one best suited to these ends is Scott, who I nominate for president of the illustrious Man Club.

Scott said...

Hmmm...maybe I've been going about this all wrong. Barring any further objection, I would definitely put myself in the running. My only hesitation is that sometimes my will to do the most random thing possible (steal street signs, drive to the beach, etc.) is not always as high as Ben's, but with Ben as consigliore (which, if you don't get the reference, I'm not sure man's club is for you anyway), I think we'd have a good arrangement.

And yes, I agree Ben's musical tastes do lack a certain masculine quality.

Ben said...

Fuck this shit, I started the club! I mean, at least Pat was a cofounder.

Alright, I do not want to force my Presidency on the club. But I cannot allow this unprovoked attack on my music to stand. I propose the winner of a series of challenges a la Billy Madison wins the Presidency, the competitions to be open to suggestion from Man's club members and the concerned population at large.

Nancy said...

I propose a series of dirty battles to settle this! First round...prove the Jordan Curve Theorem (look it up). Apparently it's harder than you think.

Magda said...

I'm sorry, but what exactly is the purpose of this man's club?

Scott said...

In order...

1) I wasn't there when you started it...never mind the fact that you nominated Schneider, who isn't even a member. That said, I'm not pushing for the presidency, but I'd take it if the men so desired. If not, I'm happy to be consigliore. I will say Doug made some good points though.

2) Music always comes into play.

3) Challenges, especially in regards to something called Man's Club, should never be based in intellect.

4) Man's Club is for true men to come together and plan and execute any variety of operations, dealing mainly in the dangerous and/or spontaneous. It's also a matter of solidarity, to prevent women from gaining too much control over us. In my opinion.

Nancy said...

Scott I'm quoting you on number 3.

Cynda said...

Seeing as how I will most likely not be on the internet or another good week I will put in my input but will of course not be able to back it up.

I think Ian should be president!!

But besides that biased opinion I think you should all wait until you get home to settle this and it should be done if the form of a huge free for all mud wrestling match. You can't get more manly than a bunch of guys fighting each other in the mud seriously.

But for the record whoever becomes president will really just be the president of nothing. Because seriously what is the man club? A bunch of guys who talk about being in a club called the man club and argue about who's in charge?

P.S. Doug I don't think your one to talk about Ken's...lack of manliness.

Ken said...

What lack of manliness?!

Miguel said...

Men mud wrestling sounds more like gay porn than manly.

Just saying.

Instead, how about a decathlon that, since you guys don't like academia or intelligence, has more to do other men stuff...

eg,

seeing who can crush the most soda cans on their skulls in five minutes (the soda cans will be empty. you must either drink them or hope they don't blow metal shards into your hand or skull or face or rest of body when you try crushing the unopened one).

seeing who can eat the greatest quantity of the reddest meat possible and stay out of the hospital the longest.

In order to test diplomatic skills, you must prove yourself an adept diplomat in any situation. Thus I propose that you must take a job at the Bingo parlor off of Beaverton/Hillsday Hwy that's west of Jesuit and take the job of wearing either the Ball or the Grid costumes. You must then compete to see who gets the most girls' phone numbers. There will be a judge surveying this activity to ensure that there is no cheating, and that these are in fact young adult women, not unsuspecting ladies of the bingo parlor.

There're other things like splitting the most firewood, making the biggest bonfire on the beach, etc.

Of course, as I'm not a member (nor do I have the inclination to be one), you should take these with a grain of salt.

Chuck said...

As long as I still get to run around in black clothing during the middle of the night, I'm good.

Katie said...

who are you people

Miguel said...

I just offer ridiculous stuff.

Shinekaze said...

I throw my vote in for Scott, with Ben being nominated for Vice President of Spontaneity. What say you to that proposition?

Pat said...

No offense to Scott, but I think I'm gonna have to cast my vote to Ben. He created the Man Club and deserves to be its leader.