Thursday, October 23, 2008

GNR's 'Chinese Democracy' Means Free Dr. Pepper!

1. On the Nov. 23, 2008 release date, go to

2. Register your information to receive a coupon for one free 20-oz. Dr Pepper.

3. When your coupon arrives, redeem it wherever Dr Pepper is sold.

4. Drink your Dr Pepper slowly to experience all 23 flavors. Dr's orders.

5. Realize that Cherry Coke is just a Dr. Pepper ripoff.

6. Question everything

7. Realize Blogger has really neat Qs

8. Blog more

9. The Gravy gets very popular/inspirational with the youth of China.

10. Chinese youth begins movement for democracy.

11. Thanks Guns N' Roses!

*Steps 1-4 lifted from Prefix Magazine*

post script
Not fair. The Qs on the posting page are way different than the ones on the homepage.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

What Engineering Has Done to Me

Originally entitled "What Engineering Has Taught Me." But I changed it, suckers.

-I've become very literal. For instance, when I say "how you like them apples?" I am actually referring to the general deliciousness quotient of a bushel of apples. (Answer: 4.318)

-In that same vein, I can't write a complex, metaphor-laden essay anymore. However, I can be brief and to the point. "George Washington was the first American president. He was also a surveyor. How you like them apples?" That's good enough for a BC here at Marquette.

-If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, well then it's probably a duck. Don't look at me, I'm not a goddamn biologist. I just cover stuff in concrete.

-When in doubt, add more concrete.

-You can get away with anything when you're wearing a reflective vest.

-I can come up with cost estimates for things on the spot. For instance, that hobo who hangs out down the street from where you live will probably sell you an 8th of crack for the cost of a box of 3 1/2" wood screws.

-The simplest explanation may be the correct one, but it's just not as much fun as the roundabout, Rube-Goldberg machine way of explaining things.

-I'm really good at estimating liquid volumes. That's probably true for any college student though.

-I am fucking in love with parenthesis. (Not kidding (for serious)).

-"Meh, we're only off by a half a foot" becomes a big problem when that half an inch is between the end of your roadway and the beginning of your bridge. Whoops.

So in conclusion, never drive in Southeastern Wisconsin. I cannot guarantee your safety.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Scott's Best Movie Writeup Yet

no, I'm not prejudiced cuz its about the dark knight. (ok i am, but still.)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Warning - Offensive to Pat Robertson

Hey everybody! I know I have a history of being too careful with my words and how I hate political humor and I certainly would never be sarcastic, but I did promise to pop in each season and give my 1 cent (it's not quite worth two cents), so I almost wrote these words of encouragement on Ben's Facebook wall, but then I copied and pasted onto here and then expanded on it so we can all celebrate the greatest upgrade from one president to the next since going from the impotent responder to the Depression / lame duck, Herbert Hoover, to try-everything-to-fix-this-now FDR. I find that to be a surprisingly accurate comparison

After the accumulated hours of the first three debates, I made my choice as to who is the lesser of two douches, even though the final debate hasn't happened yet. Does that make me rash? Especially since the debates were such a toss-up between the impeccably dressed, strong-voiced, well organized answers of Barack Obama and the empty rhetoric, obvious pandering and double speak of the cliché-loving, tired sounding John McCain. Earlier, I was thinking, “I can't believe these are the two best people they could give us to pick from.” But now I don't even feel that bad voting for someone who voted against BAIPA.

I think one of the funniest turn of events in the election is when Sarah Palin, who we've known for six weeks, posed the question after Barack's 20 months under the spotlight, "Do we really know the real Barack Obama?" Gee, she lost the verdict on the political scandal probe, as well as my respect, gosh darnit! “Palling around with terrorists?” If you don't have anything substantial to say, get back in the kitchen and start being a mother to kids who seem like they need it. (In that last bit – the pandering to Pat is just an added bonus.)

I think John McCain's RNC speech was his most inspirational one yet – I stayed awake the entire time!

This might be my meanest / most tasteless post; and yet, I don't think it will generate as much controversy as the last election cycle. So I'll close with a few quotes from my current favorite presidential candidate:

We are taxing income from work at nearly twice the level that we're taxing gains for investors... as my friend Warren Buffet put it to me - "If there's class warfare going on in America, then my class is winning."

In this campaign, we will not stand for the politics that uses religion as a wedge and patriotism as a bludgeon.

We serve an awesome God in the blue states.

I'm Cory Donahue, and I approve this message.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Did Pat Just Turn 21?

I got one phone call at 3am, but nothing like the seismic shocks I thought would reverberate coast to coast as Pat became a full adult.

Happy belated Birthday, you Big Ol' Player!

Nick and Norah's Excellent Adventure, er, Infinite Playlist!

I've been excited for this one and it was just about what I hoped it would be. Fleshing out the other guys in the band and dropping the drunk girl lost in the city bit might have made it great, but I'll be grateful for what it is, a starry-eyed, good-hearted tribute to being young and out on the town. And hooking up in recording studios, God knows we all love that.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals

The Tina Fey/Sarah Palin stuff has been getting Saturday Night Live the most ink this past month, but for my money this is the funniest thing I've seen there all year.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Offend Maggie

Plants are smelly and bad for you!

Did you hear about the latest Polish invention? It's a solar-powered

Sigur Rós [live]

A couple of Wednesdays ago, I went to Chicago, and decided I wanted to build an enormous baroque opera house. And I saw Sigur Rós. I stayed awake for the openers, Parachute (who sounded remarkably like a happier, cleaner American Sigur Ros)but there was a long intermission and the week started taking its toll, so I was only completely awake for the set opener and the closer, meaning that I can really be fair to just those songs. Here goes:

Svefn-G-Englar is fucking interminable.

Goobledigook was transcendent.

In between those two bookends, i caught up on some sleep. I wish it had turned out differently, because I do love me some Sigur Ros. But I think since they were my go-to fall-asleep band when I was worried that with one more listen, 'The Trapeze Swinger' might wear out its welcome -250+ listens later, still hasn't happened, which is something like 40 hours of my life...ok let's not overthink that- my little reptile brain decided it was naptime. Which is too bad, because they're more than an indie kid's Sounds of the Ocean (Complete With Real Whale Calls!) They're a Saturday night band, but not that kind of Saturday night. More like when everybody has left and you're moping around the room, reading, or putting together some postcards. When its dark and so you turn on all the lights but it still seems too dark, so you put Sigur Rós on and things are a little bit better. Its amazing that i was falling asleep with that much noise- it could be pretty damn abrasive, more so than any album work I've heard- but its a testament to them how they can make it beautiful AND brutal. It was like i was getting bludgeoned to sleep by the benevolent god of Nyquil. (Yeah, just like that). In every level between wake and sleep they was great, just like it was on all those nights that would have been a little tougher without them.

Rating: N/A due to me being a sleepyhead.

post script
So it was lucky to find a real review of the Chicago concert (linked above). And in semi-related news, on the Radiohead [live] post I just linked a cokemachineglow article about the very same St. Louis show confirming my seeming hyperbole as fact. You can trust those guys cuz they're way sadder and more critical than you are. And by induction you can trust me too.