Volvos have a mean bite [ see "punishment for my 1980 volvo"]

So I was leaving rehersal late last week and was at the hillsdale interssection when I feel my volvo start to shake like it was still cold, but the temperature gage was half up, no reason for it to studder. All of a sudden my lights flash off and all interior lights start flickering, (and I was like Oh my God, they have come for, me! Scotty Beam me up) to my disapointment no beaming occured so I gave my volvo a little gas and the gas gage drops from full to half in two seconds, but then everything turned back on. So I thought, "okay that was weird?" so I keep driving and I am going down the hill and reach the intersection of Capital Highway and Twiliger. When my engine simply cuts out! (And, I was like Oh my God, they're trying to send me a message! Jesus? Buddah? Moses? Mohammad? Spock?) My first instict is to get the Hell off the road, so I put my four ways on and brake attempting to place the volvo on the sidwalk because their is nowhere else. The car completly shuts off except for lights, then after I have the thing parked the oil light flashes on. And of course I had just checked the oil level two weeks before hand, there was no way for the car to have drained completly in only two weeks. So I Call my house and my dad asks if the car will start, I try it again (I already knew the answer, but I did it anyway to humor him) and as expected nothing happend, but to his surprise, nothing happened. The car would not even turn over! So he directs me to the hood of the car and asks if any tubs had come undone, I respond no. He asks if any belts had broke, I respond no. He asks if The Oil is gone, I respond no. He asks if I am gay, I respond no. So with no luck I climb back in the car and he says he will come over ASAP with the truck and pull me home. So I wait.

After about ten minutes, I see police car lights behind me, I get out and a lady officer asks what happened, I tell her the story and that my dad is on the way, she puts out flares, gives me a kiss... or five and then leaves. So I go and wait in the car and then my lights start to flicker again. and the battery dies. This is a brand new battery only a month old and it dies on me because I had my forways on for twenty minutes! So my parents arrive and they drab my ass home with no lights (which is illegal) and we park it at our old house in SE. The nexty day we discover that the brushes on the voltage regulator had worne down, an easy fix. So that was eventful.

This Post Deserves No Title

Hey, it's 1:30 and I have writer's apathy (I bet Euler never had to write a four page paper on the Golden Ratio!) , so I thought I'd share an interesting fact.

On Google, when you type in the outsiders looking in (with or without quotes), we come up first. Out of 656,000. That's right, so type it in, hit I'm Feeling Lucky, and you got us. If you type in mmmgravy we come up fourth out of 38. Weird.

Both Shakeer and his blog Harumph!, come up first for their respective names also. I think this is pretty cool.

post script
I should have given up blogging for Lent.

Regarding Our Bet...

Okay, so, after being asked many, many days in a row "Is anybody out yet?" and answering "Not that I know of," I want to make sure you all know this...

You come to me if/when you're out.

The only name I reveal is the one who comes out on top, so if you're worried about everybody knowing about...yeah, then don't worry.

If you're worried about the fact that I know, get over it. You signed up to be a part of the bet. When you paid your money and put your name down, believe it or not, there's an unwritten law. Now I'm spelling it out for you: you fail, you let me know.

I'm not accusing anybody of anything; this is just a disclaimer.

Could I make you swear some solemn oath on God, your country, your families, your souls, and anything you hold dear to your hearts? I could. But the fact is that joining this bet, with a man of integrity like Ben heading it, you pretty much know what's expected of you in terms of honesty and following through.

Besides, it also takes some courage to admit you're out.

So am I going to hell?

So am I going to be sent to hell for impersonating a member of the Lit. band?

Did I really have a choice?

I was singing. so it wasn't as if I was just mouthing the words, I did something. And like Mr. Moore said when you sing you pray twice, so I sang for half of mass in lit band so if my math is correct (which it usually isn't) that means I prayed all through mass. And that is what God wants right?

Or does Jesus hate me?

A Vitally Important Post for the Future of the Internet

So important, in fact, that in order to write it, I skipped the dump-you-right-into-it, damn-the-title-bar format that I've maintained since that first post in August.

Here's the story: while I was searching for capital punishment information, Google's power seduced and distracted me. (The former verb was attractive due to our bet, and the latter... Jesuit religion class.)

Ben first typed this string of characters into Google's search box:

"ca;ldjkcal;sdhkfl;akdljls;djfakcl;jadsklcjaklsdcka;sdjckl;asjd"

or something like it, anyway, and it came up with absolutely nothing. "Something must be wrong with Google," we thought. "Google has everything." But it turns out that quite a few phrases that more than deserve their place on the internet appear absolutely nowhere in Google's search service!

As a remedy for this quasi-cosmic oversight, we decided to create this post. So, in the comments section, please feel free to add any phrase that needs a home. Eventually, Google will return our page any time anyone searches for any of these! (And by "any phrase," I mean "any phrase that John won't delete"--don't waste his time. We have the whole Jeff-Nitschke-virgin-eyes thing to deal with too.) And this page is only for total orphans--can't show up anywhere else on the internet.

I'll start you off with the three that started the whole thing. And yeah, it may look like there's a pattern. Please don't follow it.

* "mothers made easy"

* "nuns down under"

* "women of the igloo"

Jesuit: the Conservative stronghold!

For days I have been wondering why Jesuit High School does not have a creative writing course. ASnd today I had a converstaion with one of the instructors here at Jesuit on theis particular topic. Why don't we have a creative writing course is it because creative writing is not as valued in our society as analytical essays. The closest thing we have to a creative writing cource is Cantos which has declined in popularity in it's past two years. I had a converstion with Christopher Bakke today following my converstation with the instructor (who will remain anyonymous for later reasons) and he said following the disadster in the previous year he was unable to restart the once popular and fun published writing. The teacher I spoke with said, "God forbid we should change the way we do things, because we do it so well." Because Jesuit has earned the prestige of a college prepitory school do we not want to risk that image with something so simple as another academic cource. An A in a creative writing class is just as much an A as in regular English. Wouldn't colleges want someone with a personality and a creative style to add to their community or has society shaped our culture so much that the only acceptable people are those that abhear to the strictest rules and educational standards. Are we so blind to not see that creative writing is just as much of a artistic form as art and poetry. As Chris Bakke said to me today, so far the majority of submissions to Cantos have been poetry and art, no writing--which is the thing that Cantos was originaly created for.

The Pun

OK, I apologize to those of you who have heard this already, some of you twice, but if I don't post this by midnight tonight, I lose exclusive blogging rights and Shakeer will snatch this beautiful pun from its rightful place on the world wide web. [He has some entitlement, seeing as though it written after his inspiration.] Anyway, as read to my math and english classes, the five-level pun:

So around 1920, a phamous physicist was visiting South Africa, and during his presentation on the structure of the atom, he suddenly got on his hands and knees, and, speaking in Dutch, he began to describe and act out, in excruciating detail, the mating practices of the African wild pig. Initially amused, the audience soon fell into a stupor, at which time the physicist's wife walked on stage, grabbed him by the ear, and said "Niels, stop being such a Bohr/Boer/boar/bore/boor!"

There you have it. Cantos is hounding me for a transcript and the Crusader is knocking my door down, but my agent says to sit on it until they crack and actually offer me something for it. I will of course go splitsies with Shakeer.

Basketball

Maggi had a good point: no one's posted for a while. I had decided that this stuff about basketball wasn't worth a post, but compared to nothing, who'd complain?

The East won the All-Star Game. But make no mistake, it's a whole level below the West. Four of the top five teams are in the West. A 500 team makes the play-offs easily in the East, but does not qualify in the West. And the East wouldn't have even won the All-Star Game if Greg Popovich was willing to play Kevin Garnett or Tim Duncan in the second half. But Greedy Greg wouldn't rested up his star when the conference needed him. It turns out that the two had some minor injuries they were playing with, so it was a safety precaution. What crap.

In the eighth grade, a kid did his current event on something "extremely local." He started to tell a story about his halloween before the teacher stopped him. I also wish to share the news at such a local level. My team's tallest guy is nowhere to be seen. He hasn't been to practice lately. Rumor has it he quit the team. He wasn't very good though. But he was a giant. But we can normally win without him. My team has five main scorers. Not true this Saturday though. One of them was at the All-Star Game. Two others were at the beach. That left me and my brother to provide all the points. To make things worse, he was having one of his worst shooting days. He got 11 points by pure volume of shooting, and I had 16. We had 27 of the 33 points. The other teams had 50 something. I probably could have done better. There was this one ref that I was glaring at most the game because it appears he didn't know how to use his whistle. I apologized to him after the game for being so rude to him, and he explains that he's only a freshman and is new at this. I shouldn't complain too much. My seasonal average is only 12 points a game.

I can't wait til soccer season. I want to go all out this year. I'm not sure it'll happen though.

I thought I'd share.

Seeing as, umm... this blog is just brimming with excitement... and stuff... Well, I just thought it was quite sad, so here's my first ever post on Outsiders. Really guys, it's depressing to see the same post on the top of the blog every day.

So I was blog-surfing and I came across this:



It is from a bag made by a company here in the U.S. and sold in France. The translation is:

"Hand wash using warm water.
Use mild soap.
Stretch to dry.
Don't bleach.
Don't dry in the dryer.
Don't iron.
We are sorry that our President is an idiot.
We did not vote for him."

Punishment for my 1980 Volvo [see "God wants my Volvo to Die" (below)]

So I go to callbacks yesterday and have a horrible time dancing and gettin' funky then I exit that Big Black Box and my sister is still sitting in the hallway, she had been there sense school ended and it was now 6:00. Anyway I drive home not thinking to much about anything and go and study for my Macbeth Test for Fr. Connell's class. So this mornig I wake up late, because I got no rest last night and ruch around to get my stuff in order. So I run out and hop in the car and I am on about 17th when I realize, "Oh crap, I forgot to get gas last night!" The 10 gallon tank is bellow the red mark by far and it has been about 242 miles sense my last refill, (you do the math) My grandparents said that it can the car could only go about 200 in the city. So I am not too happy, we either get gas and get jugs or push it and make it early. We didn't leave late we just didn't leave early either. So I drive the 9+ miles to jesuit from SE portland and the little Volvo makes it to school with 153 miles. Thank God we have a gas station directly across the street!

The good news is that we slept for a half hour in higgin's class today.

General Grevious

The above link is mostly for those that are interested in the upcoming Star Wars film. The News bad guy is a half machine / half man killer (sound familiar?) ANyway he is the new bad guy and it looks like there is a two frount war for the republic against the separtits and verses these new machine baddies. It sounds interesting, I'm sure Jeff or Scott would be able to enlighted us a little more but lets at least start here.

Oh okay

In order to slap on a new layer of content to this here blog, I present a doodle that I just doodled whilist thinking of things to doodle. I challenge my fellow bloggers to provide actual content as opposed to doodles to entertain the public!



(Click on the thumbnail for bigness)

Who Is Tuesday?

Yesterday there was a series of posts on both my blog, this one, and Maggie's by a person named Tuesday. I was wondering who it was and Why she has linked these blogs to her own blog. I have put a link to it on my blog if the above link does not work. I lookded up Athol on Google and it is a city in southern New Zealand. Does anyone know who this is?

"BIBLE HUMOR", or "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Death Penalty Stats"

Click on the link above. Then scroll to the bottom, for such fascinating questions as "Why can't I own Canadians?"

Seriously, I found this while looking up death penalty statistics (oddly, if you type "death penalty statistics" into Google, the first result is some school in Alaska, which doesn't even HAVE the death penalty). Rachel, Dave, and I got a pretty good kick out of it. Then Mrs. Wyatt got a pretty good kick out of it (I swear, sometimes I don't think she's teaching us).

Junior Year

Hey, who just figured out a way to top the trifecta of great posts from Alex? I did! Junior year memories. Put them down. Don't be bashful. Let's get to a hundred this time. And frosh and soph could use a little help also, if you have the time and/or memories. It's worth your time, these things are fun to get written down.

post script
I hope my beautiful co-admin John will be so kind as to work his magic and make this appear in the memorable topics section. Thanks.

Dead Man Walking

Sister Helen Prejean is visiting on Monday!

Yes!

the set will be amazing !

the acting is becoming superb !

does anyone need tickets? Contact me!

Against the day of Vengence and Requital
against the time they lose their footing?
Close at hand is the day of thier disaster,
and their doom is rushing upon them.
-Clyde Percy [in DMW]

The Omega Directive

Please I need people to post responses on my Blog (the above link) I am trying to use this partially for my Senior project and I need response and suggestions for my story from my peers. It is a Science Fiction Story that takes place in the past, present, and future. Please scroll down to the beggining of Januaray and read the posts from their up. also read my Bio I need feedback on all of it. What to lose, what to add, etc... It doesn't take that long and I really need responces.

Sorry Ben for the recruting on your blog but I really need this to take off.

People tell me that they read it, but if you read it please tell me by posting so that I can get some ideas down in print. Thanks.

http://www.likeapuma.blogspot.com

or click above link.

One to go along with the recent posts

A man is walking down a dark alley when a woman in the shadows says, "Hey fella, want a good time for twenty credits?" Although he'd never been with a hooker before, he figures, what the heck, it's only twenty dollars. So he and the hooker crouch down in the alley and they start going at it. Meanwhile, a police officer comes up and shines his flashlight on them and says, "Hey, what are you two doing there?" The man responds, "I'm having sex with my wife!" The police officers says, "Oh, excuse me, I didn't know that." The man says, "That's alright, I didn't know it either until you shined that flashlight in her face!"

FME Again

Yeah, brief overview:

- Nothing major went wrong
- Everything major went right

I am proud of those juniors. I wish I could have been in a small group with each of them. But I'd settle for one small group. Being rector...but as Andy kept saying and I agreed with-it's all about the juniors. Me specifically, it was a good weekend but not on the same level as last February. But I did come up with my life plan on Friday night. Screw engineering, I want to start a third party. I've talked with many of you about this. The name is still up in the air (Justice Party?). You all will be members of a larger Brain Trust. I mean those of you who are for it. I think this would be a kickass way to spent this little blink we got on earth. Live the ideals, make it true at least for ourselves. And ride a bus together like in Almost Famous. But continue with your areas of study, become professionals. Your individual talents will add to the overall strength. After I have the strategic and tactical plans ironed out, I will give each of you a call, and you will come to St. Benny's the following weekend and we will ready ourselves to take America by storm. Policy-wise, it'll be stuff John Burke would agree with, and that should be good enough for you. I can't wait (but I'm kinda regretting the apps to schools that specialize in engineering. Looks like I'll be a transfer student just like my hero Shakeer!) Oh, and I'm 100% serious. We can do it.

post script
I am just a dreamer, but you are just a dream.

Lent-Off {Reader Discretion Advised (Seriously)}

Hey guys, I hope you've been boning up on your Koch, because Lent-Off '05 just began. This is no cock and bull story. Ten bucks buys entrance into the pool. I've given you cockfighters a week head start to make it competitive, but I'm still gonna be cock of the walk. Oh, and the girls are betting, and our names will be up on the hib. There's still time to sign up. Remember, the last cock to crow wins.

post script
Okay, I apologize. I had this post mentally written a week and a half ago, but excessive sleep deprivation erased it and it was a struggle to come up with that. Help out with a clever cock phrase in the comments section. I'm trying to think up a phrase containing "caulk, suckers." but can't come up with a good one.

post post script
Koch wrote the Christian Ethics book and we got a packet of his promoting chastity in Christian Relationships, so that part works.

post post post script
Yes, it's very sacreligous, but hey, we're like 18, we can get away with it. Oh, and in Tech the guys decided not to release the names of those who failed and when until the winner is announced. If we make it to college, the money gets split among remaining competitors Under these rules, the girls could totally have spreads and bet not only on the winner, but who could beat (for lack of a better word) the other guy by so much. Example: "Yes! Pay up. Scott owned Doug" "Ha, you owe me because the difference was less than five and a half days!" And they could even do some kind of bracket thing!

Wow. There went the illusions the rest of you had as to my maturity. And sorry to ruin that really cool small post thing y'all had going.

"whoreson" is my new favorite word

What's up with all of these short posts?

Sorry, I just had to keep it going.

Student Fun Racer ( oh sorry it's not a race it's a Fund Raiser)

Well I have all my letters in, (as does most of Tech theatre) But how about that assembly, I thought it was great one of the better ones weve had this year. I thought the scafolding (sp?) was a great touch by the Tech theatre crews.

The NutriGrain Ad

You've all heard about it. Now here it is...the funniest ad that's never aired. Click the link above and enjoy.

Batman Begins Superbowl Spot Online

Hey all...in my ever-growing obsession with all things Batman, I have discovered that the kickass Superbowl commercial in now online. Click the link above and hit up the video section. It's probably the coolest thing since...the last Batman trailer...

...

Totally...

God wants my Volvo to die! [continuation of The Road...]

And my exhaust pipe flies off under the toyota following me. My sister who was sitting beside me at the time yells, "what the hell was that noise!" I who watched the destruction of my car in the mirror yell in reply, "Ohh, [profanity]!" I immediately pull over to the right onto a side street and turn off the car. My sister is asking what happened and my response of course is, "The [profanity]ing tailpipe fell off!" I throgh my sister my brick of a cell phone and tell her to call the school and then home. I then run the block and a half to find my missing exhaust pipe. I find the majority of it and reach down to grab it realizing that it probably is hot I wrap my hand in my sweatshirt and pick it up, durting my shirt (oh well). I then continue to dodge the three and a half lanes of trafic to get back the the Volvo, and my sister puts my mom on the Phone.
"Mom what should I do?"
"What happened?"
"The tailpipe fell off!"
"Well is it still draging?"
"No, mom, it FELL OFF."
"Off?"
"Yes completely off! This tailpipe is dead! It is no more! It has ceased to exsist!"
Anyhow I drive to school without it and the pipe sitting in my trunk. I then go into the office and explain the situation, Mrs. Shanahan responds with, "Well thats one I haven't heard yet."

That afternoon we get into my car to leave, and I decide to turn on the heater (it was cold... give me a break!). And of course it doesn't work! No exhaust pipe and no heat, what could be worse right? As I am driving down 17th in SE so that my sister can babysit for the Grays (JHS English Teacher) I see this SUV sitting at a stop sign a block up and my sister has her head down looking for her planner to see what time she has to leave. As I am approching (under the speed limit I might add--27 mph) I am less then a carlength now, The SUV guns it into the intersection. Now I am driving a 1980 volvo that is red and I have my lights on with no parked vehicle to block his view, I guess those tinted windows are not such a great idea. So this guy pulls out with me no more then 15 feet away! I crank my wheel hard to the Left and "sound my horn" just like Jeff Hall taught me in tech class. My sister (in the passenger seat) yells as her head hits the dash board hard, then looks up to yell at me for being such a careless driver when she sees the SUV only a foot away from her head, and she starts screaming. The SUV stops blocking the entire right lane. I am now in the opposite lane with a white 97 jeep baring down on me! I then crank my wheel to the right and regain my possition in the correct lane. Then of course with all the excitment the little volvo starts to dance. The car starts weaving back and forth, and I cram my brakes down to avoid hitting the pedestrians at the bus stop watching the mayham. After regaining a stabel atmosphere I continue the mission home, with a faster pulse.

When we arrived home my dad of course wants to look at the pipe, so after much observation and deliberation, my dad states that there is nothing to do except buy a new muffler. So after that I decide that it is due time to replace the windsheild wiper blades. So my dad goes over and starts to remove the left wiper when it pops off snapping the winsheild, luckly it did not break anything other then the wiper. My dad notices it is only a loose pin so he goes to fix it with his leatherman when it breaks in half.

What a great day, I look forward to many more adventures in my Volvo

Encounter

I really hope somebody who went on the encounter will make a post all about it, filling us in on their whole experience, in depth, by the end of the night.

Screw UPN and Paramont

They announced on thursday, that the latest Star Trek show, Enterprise, will be cancelled following thwe season's end! as many of you know I am a long time fan of Star Trek. and I am outraged!

Nearly swerved off the road...

I mentioned this over on my blog (which no one reads, so hey...subtle advertising...click title above), but they're showing Martin Scorsese's "Taxi Driver" (starring Robert De Niro; 1976) at the Valley Theatre. It's not only one of Scorsese's best (this is the guy who did "Raging Bull," "Gangs of New York," "Goodfellas," and "The Aviator"), but it's my personal favorite of his. I've seen it on DVD, but I'd kill to see it in a theatre with an actual print (unless they screw me like Clinton St. did when they showed "Fight Club"). So yeah...if you wanna come, I'll be catching it sometime this coming week after school.

What time is it? HISTORY TIME!

Hey diddle diddle children, welcome to another random post from the wonderful land of Hahn! I'm sitting in the second row having a very... um... interesting e-mail conversation with Karolyn about... um... spanking. Yeah, and I'm kind of hungry. My stomach just growled, that was embarassing. I have a request for everyone: write in and tell me interesting things to do on the computer (LEGAL ones, mind you. No crazy ass porn. Or any type of porn.) whilst waiting to go to first lunch. I mean, whilst studying for the AP exam. Fives all around!

Oh and is anybody doing anything for the Super Bowl? Or anything this weekend for that matter? We should party hard, it's second semester!

We need to compile a list of useful links to play with while we're bored during History class work days. Links not related to the stock market (current strategy: buy pretty, sell shitty).

Mmm history class, how I love you on a Friday morning. Hee hee the janitor chased away all the geese.

The Road, A 1980 Volvo, and one messed up tailpipe

So I was driving to school this morning and I was exiting the Ross Island Bridge onto Beartha Blvd. when I heard this rattling under my 1980 Volvo. For the past two days I have heard strange noises from the rear of the car and the other day I checked to see what the hell it was, with no sign of foul play or damage anywhere I rearanged the things in my trunk and called it good the rattling stoped. But this morning I hear a huge rattling, you know the noise of mettle hitting mettle hitting concrete at 40 mph, that sound. So I look in my rearview mirror just in time to catch my tailpipe fly off. As fate would have it a late 90's toyota was following and served to miss it, unfortiatly the swerve was in vain and th frount bumper it it and the tailpipe proceeded to exit from beneath the toyota.

Cont. at 2:45 today do not worry I will finish the story but break has ended.

Of Economics and Indifference

I am right now sitting in History class, and there's this constant noise in the background while I'm trying to type, and every once in a while I catch some phrase like "gains and losses", "dividends", "portfolio value will reflect that increase", and I feel like such a stereotypical woman right now.

I do not understand economics to save my life.

And aside from wanting a good grade in this class, I don't really care about that.

I mentioned to Rhoads one time that I didn't get economics, and he scoffs "What's not to get? Markets go up, markets go down!" Yes, I know what directions up and down are, I'm not a complete idiot, and that doesn't help at all...I just cannot get into economics.

Thank God this stock market thing is a team effort...unfortunately, my math class is individual, which explains why I haven't bought anything or sold anything (much less even looked at the darn website) for months now.

Although now I suppose I can narrow down the whole career path decision...I will not go into business.