SUPERMAN RETURNS

“How is it that nobody thinks Clark Kent is Superman?”
“Clark Kent wears glasses. Superman doesn’t.”

If this explanation is at all bothering or troublesome, Superman Returns is not the movie for you. It’s a movie that gives completely into its classic superhero vibe and sticks to that groove. Whereas so many superhero films in recent years have tried to make their heroes as gritty and realistic as possible, Superman Returns takes the path of fantasy and reminds us what makes superheroes larger than life.

I love Superman. Always have. The idea of an all-powerful hero never seemed lame to me. It was primarily inspiring because in spite of his awesome power, Superman always did the right thing. He never used his powers for selfish means, and viewed them as a gift not just for himself, but for all of mankind, a people he was never truly one of but felt the need to give back.

Was I predisposed to love the movie? Not at all. If anything, I was scared they’d screw it all up and I’d forever have to explain that Superman really is a great character (such is my eternal task with Daredevil, the Hulk, and Cyclops). I was afraid they’d try to make him too cool, too edgy, and take away all the stuff that makes him a classic. Look, Superman isn’t a cool character. There’s no cool factor to him. Batman is cool; he’s got the gadgets and an awesome car and he runs around kicking ass. At the center of the Batman/Superman difference is their central missions. Batman’s really is to rid Gotham City of crime, which means going out and finding crime and seeing that it’s (non-lethally) disposed of. On the contrary, Superman’s mission is a protector; he helps people. If that means putting the hurt on a bad guy, then so be it. But if you notice throughout the entire course of the film, as I recall, Superman never directly FIGHTS anybody. There are fantastic action sequences, but none of them involve a fight scene, which I think is pretty remarkable in modern action filmmaking.

Not that Superman Returns is really an action movie anyway. As I said, the action sequences are unbelievable (Superman rescuing the plane will forever be at hand as soon as this hits DVD), but they are few an far between. This is the next step in superhero films, where the special effects are big but the story isn’t focused on a bad guy and a good guy. The core story of Superman Returns is actually more like Casablanca than anything else. It’s about old loves coming back into your life.

And it is beautiful. I’ve seen the movie twice now, both times in digital (my continued love/hate relationship with Bridgeport every time my brother insists we go there), and wow…it’s just about the best looking film I’ve ever seen. Every shot is a work of art. Batman Begins made an important first step in establishing an artistic style in superhero films, but Superman Returns takes it a step further. Metropolis finally feels like a real city, instead of simply a stand-in for New York.

But getting back to the fantasy elements, they are really strong in this. Like I said, if the central premise of glasses as a disguise has always been a problem for you, you’re not the audience for Superman, as there are any number of logical or scientific flaws in the story. There is almost no conceivable way for Lex Luthor’s plan to work, and the fact that the basics of it is explained purely by the fact that the crystals are alien makes me smile. It just gets more complicated from there (like Lois could really come out okay being thrown around in that plane), but this is one of the few times I’ll say it – it’s a comic book. Hang back and enjoy it.
One aspect in the Superman/Lex storyline I did enjoy (which was by and large badly edited; they lost a lot of momentum with me in the early cuts between what Superman was doing and what Lex was doing) was that it was structured very different from every modern superhero film. Every one of those, be it Batman or Spider-Man or ¬X-Men or Daredevil will have the hero and villain do two to four battles before some sort of final showdown in which it’s all put on the line, after which all must be resolved. In Superman Returns, there’s like one showdown. Sort of. And like I said, it’s not really a fight. And after it all, everything is not okay, and Singer and company do a fantastic job of really bringing out the heroic aspect of Superman during it all (and they get major props for frequent and awesome use of heat vision).
It’s the same reason the plane sequence works – Superman doesn’t succeed with his idea of how to stop it from falling right away. He makes some mistakes. In these instances, and in one big moment towards the end of the film, we’re reminded that Superman is only human. Metaphorically anyway.
The thing in the film I feared the most is the presence of Lois’ son, Jason. I’m not going to spoil anything, but for my money they really nailed it. My only fear now is I can’t see any direction for them to go with that story in a sequel without making the worst film ever, but you shouldn’t judge a film by how well it sets up the next I suppose.

The cast is spectacular almost all around, Brandon Routh especially. I’m a HUGE fan of Christopher Reeve’s performance as Superman and Clark Kent. It’s one of my favorites of any film. But Routh finds a way to hit the key notes of what makes Superman, but there were only a couple moments that reminded me of Reeve. He also plays the difference between Clark and Superman a little more subtly than Reeve did. Until seeing the movie, I was unconvinced he could pull off the role, as he didn’t particularly look like Superman. But seeing him onscreen, and especially hearing him, I was blown away. I never thought anyone could ever really BE Superman again, but here he is.

Kevin Spacey’s great, what else is new? He also has one of the best entrances of a villain in cinema history. Frank Lengella is fantastic as Perry White. And Sam Huntington cracked me up every time as Jimmy Olsen; I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen the character portrayed as well as he is here. Kate Bosworth’s Lois Lane is a different story altogether. They’ve yet to really craft a great Lois onscreen (watch the animated series for that), but we’re getting there. Bosworth plays Lois’ vulnerabilities just fine, but her strengths poorly. And more than anything else, Lois has to come off as a strong character, and she just doesn’t.

However, the real revelation to me in this movie was James Marsden as Richard White, Lois’ fiancée. His performance in the film makes it all the more upsetting that Bryan Singer didn’t know what to do with him in the first two X-Men films, because he is fantastic here, especially considering his role could have easily been reduced to Mary Jane’s astronaut-boyfriend in Spider-Man 2. If ever there was a man who could compete with Superman, Marsden’s Richard would be him.

Anyway, I loved the movie, even more the second time now that I was done comparing it to my expectations, and just to stuff I wanted to see. I might even end up liking it more than Spider-Man 2 (which is still the most excited I’ve ever been coming out of a movie). The first time though (at Cinetopia) had the best damn audience anywhere. When people cheer in recognition of the opening credits, patterned after Superman: The Movie, I know I’m with my people. And especially when the in the back yelled “Go Brandon!” when Routh’s name came onscreen, it really reminded me of how much we (the geeks) had riding on this, and how much we wanted it, and especially him, to succeed. And to my everlasting joy, they did.

Oh Target

Yesterday some woman managed to run her riding cart into a glass spacer between doors at the entrance to the Target I work at and broke her nose. It was probably the funniest thing I've ever seen, up until the catastrophic nosebleed.

That is all. How are your summers going?

4th of July

Hey guys, I apologize for not posting this earlier...but there you are.

On the 4th, similarly to last year, you're all invited to my grandma's house. She lives on the banks of the Willamette River, right across the way from Waverly Golf Club, which puts on a pretty nifty fireworks show. The show starts at 10 PM (you know, when it's darkish), but feel free to show up any time after 9.

I won't be putting my grandma's house address on the internet. If you want/are able to come, feel free to contact me; most of you know my cell, my AIM screenname is sometimes signed on, and the house phone works. I suppose you could even email. Whatever works. But yeah, if you wish to come but the lack of directions hinders you, gimme a call.

...that's about it.

I finally found out what part of Mexico Ian is from.

Am I studying abroad? Yes, lots of them. At first impression, I was glad to live in the US because I think the average American girl is prettier than the average Mexican girl. Yet I’m finding that Mexican girls have pretty cool personalities. Yesterday I had a second girl in 2 days tell me that I was really cool. American girls are never so blunt. And I wasn’t even telling that good of jokes. The first one said I was ripped, so she’s clearly delusional, but in a good way. Maybe I’ll come down here again to search for a potential wife because the marianismo of the culture idolizes submissive women, and I really enjoy getting my way so basically I want a doormat of a woman. Just kidding. But no seriously, I’m just kidding. Here’s another thing:
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter. He’s not coming.
They loved that one! Jokes like that stopped working in grade school for me back in the States.



Anywho, I spent last weekend in Pachuca, Mexico. Llovana celebrated her birthday in a cabin in the woods with a group of friends. We drove an hour away from the city into the woods, and when we reached the cabin, there were tree-covered mountains on all sides, with a river snaking through all the mountains.



I was really lucky to find the group. The first Sunday I was here I looked up the closest Protestant church in the area. It happened to be Primera Iglesia Bautista. I've always admired how there can be so many First Baptist Churches. How are they all the first one? A missionary lady gave me the number of a missionary family hosting a group of college students. I've been running around with them ever since. They're all from the Bible Belt. When I came here, I knew I would have an intercultural experience. I just didn’t know it would be with so many with gringos. There are about 150 Americans studying here and one 1 Canadian. “I suppooze it’s kinda fun, ay?” He really said that!

Hookwinked, Or: A Very Good Reason to Watch Where You Throw Things

So there we were, cruising along back from the Seaside section of the Oregon Coast. Pat was up front driving, riding shotgun was Matthew Spear. I was behind Matt in the right nut of the middle row, Ian hanging at the left nut, Maggie sitting tight in bitch. In the back row sat Mike directly behind me, Nancy next to him, Ben next to hear. Full house, packed car.



Beach traffic was wicked that day, as many a city-dweller sought the respite of slightly-cooler weather, or at least the quick option of a large, very cold body of water. We were running at what must have been roughly anywhere between 0 and 15 miles an hour in two-lane traffic when Ben declared he had to use the restroom. I suggested he just go by the side of the road, as he could easily catch up with us down the road a ways. He said he’d think it over.

Not long after, the two lanes merged into one, and our real trouble began. A white car tried to pull out to the right from behind us and jump in front, believing somehow that this one-car leap would give him a huge advantage. I was about to turn and yell out my window for them to calm down, when I heard their engine roar. Then I noticed the car, which was white with a black pinstripe running just off-center and featured two speakers placed (not installed) onto the back ledge of the vehicle’s interior, was being driven by two African-American gentlemen who looked in no mood for any sort of nay saying from a white scrawny boy in a Suburban.

I quickly yelled, “they’re from the hood!” as they passed by, but I was too late. The cherry (from a container Maggie had provided) had already left Ian’s hand and miraculously collided with the roof of the car. Given Ian’s position relative to their vehicle, and that the throw was done left-handed, I would have commended him for the toss if not for the nature of its victim. Soon, the man in the driver’s seat threw an unknown object at us. It was around then that everyone became aware of the nature of our adversary, and all of us who were in a position to quickly slid down for fear of being shot.




We road peacefully behind them for a couple of miles, during which they reached around in the back (for a gun?) more times than was comfortable, though we eventually were certain of the presence of a child. After a bit of time, Ben’s bladder could no longer rest and he climbed out the window next to Ian (while the car was moving, mind you…it was quite a sight) and ran to climb over a nearby hill, seeking privacy for his urination. Traffic quickened, and fearing we would leave Ben behind forever, we pulled over at the next convenient place while Matt relieved himself...




...and we waited for Ben to catch up.




As soon as he did, it was back on the road, and into sporadic traffic, but it wasn’t long until we spotted the hoods on the side of the road, standing there doing nothing at all, until we passed and they launched an unknown object towards us. Matt responded with his middle digit while the rest of us ducked like little babies.

Not long after down the road, thinking we lost them long ago, I heard Nancy ask “Is that them behind us?” We looked back and sure enough…black pinstripe. Could they have seen us pull over and done the same simply to rejoin traffic and hunt us down? How had they then gone through all those cars and caught up with us? What was their larger plan? Could all this have really happened over a cherry? So many questions, but with not enough time to answer them as not long after, we saw a police car on the side of the road pulling over an old beater for God knows what. But it wasn’t that one that had our attention, it was the one driving the opposite way down the road who had stopped in the middle of it, allowed us to pass, and then by some insane chance or what can only by described as a miracle…

…they pulled over the black pinstriped car.

To this day (hour) we are uncertain why this took place. Were they simply harassing several cars on the road, or did this run deeper?

There are any number of stories from the beach that day, from the sand crabs to the OSU comeback in the 4th inning to the sunburn we all received to a random middle-aged woman who insisted Ben pick up the only hot girl in a group of three, leaving me and Mike high and dry to the rest of what could only be described as an utterly insane 3-hour drive home, but what will stick in my head above and beyond all of them was our encounter with the hoods, and how certain we were, if only for brief moments, of impending doom.