The Various Things I Do at Work

Not going to school for a semester is a pretty sweet deal, especially when you're still technically counted as a full time student. I have all of the perks of a college student (free gym access, the ability to chillax on weekends, free access to our wonderful student-access programming so I can watch freshmen pretend to be sportscasters and fail miserably, etc.) with none of the responsibilities. In fact, the only real drawback of this amazing internship is the fact that the university doesn't give me a bus pass. The only reason that's a drawback is because I actually had to sit through an entire class period devoted to people whining about why co-ops didn't get bus passes. That's lame.

So what does yours truly do at work all day? Your tax dollars are indavertently at work providing me with gas money (and by gas I mean beer, the gas that keeps college students up and running. Usually in kind of a zig-zag pattern, because, you know, they're wasted. But I don't drink beer, so yeah actually gas.) because I follow this daily routine, or as the pros call it, workflow:

6 AM: Wake up, swear, hit snooze button, laugh at my roommate getting ready to go do pushups or practice killing babies or whatever people will have you believe it is they do at Army PT in the morning, go back to sleep. I think that they play foosball, but Kate insists that they do sprints and climb ropes and other things which are far inferior to the supreme sport of foosball.
6:30 AM: General OH SHIT I HAVE TO BE AT WORK IN AN HOUR freakout.
7:00 AM: Flip off someone in a minivan on the way to work. What? It's tradition.
7:30 AM: Arrive at work. Spend next hour "checking e-mail" (on Facebook).
8:30 AM-4:30 PM: Workin' on stuff for 8 hours. This usually means drawing up plansets, modelling roadways, cutting profiles and cross-sections, and screwing up and having to do it all over again. That's the life of a co-op. Work abruptly ends when I recieve a text message from a fellow co-op stating that either traffic sucks or the weather sucks or they're bored and want to go home and hang out with me and make fun of people doing homework together so it'd be a good time to leave.
4:45 PM: Almost get hit by a bus or semi truck on the way home from work. What? It's tradition. And I'm a very bad driver. Irony much?
5:00 PM: Come home, try to find where my roommate hid my giant stuffed chicken this time. I'm beginning to think that the giant stuffed chicken is a metaphor for my soul and/or dignity. Either that or my roommate is just a giant meanie pants.

So as you can see, it's a very hard life. And by hard I mean awesome. Rewarding, too-- I modelled a road yesterday that would absolutely kill anyone who drove on it. Like, car-in-a-burning-heap-after-running-into-retaining-wall killed. Apparently having a road ending in a large wall is a huge no-no. Who would have thought it? Oh well, that's why I'm a co-op.


Oops. My bad?

Someday driving on my roads will not result in death, I mean if you're lucky and my "large robotic dinosaur which chases and eats the cars of motorists driving too slowly" that I have a patent pending on doesn't get released into the interstate system during rush hour, when the average Wisconsin motorist drives roughly 3.stupid miles per hour. That's an exact measurement. We have it on file somewhere, probably under "useless statistics we can put into a brochure and give to angry people who are placated by useless statistics."

So in conclusion, it's a sweet deal. Discuss?