Things I learned in college

-Everything tastes better with beer (especially crappier beer)
-Milwaukee is actually a pretty sweet town if you're over 21 and it's summer. Otherwise you've got to be a bit creative
-Baseball games are just an excuse to yell at people for 3-4 hours
-You can leave a Papa John's pizza out for three days and it'll still be edible, just a little mummified
-When your concrete canoe collides with Notre Dame's concrete canoe (which had a statue of Mary on its bow, like a goddamn Jesus pirate ship or something), God will not let you win that one
-Along those same lines, don't apply concrete sealer to your canoe in a building full of medical clinics. You'll get some public safety complaints. "High VOC's." Whatever, suck it up sick people.
-The best way to remove a 300-pound, 20-foot long canoe from your lab is through a window
-Never, EVER, under any circumstances, play wine pong. Ever.
-If you throw a rotten pumpkin out of a window, make sure nobody's watching
-Same goes for sandwiches, unless someone's trying to catch the sandwich. They should probably watch for it.
-Tetanus shots are good for like 7 years, right?
-The maximum number of Chipotle burritos one human being can eat at a time is 3
-The maximum number of Chipotle burritos one human being can keep down at a time is somewhat less than 3
-When you're riding in someone's trunk, make sure you set down ground rules before hand that stipulate "no donuts"
-City league kickball is serious business
-Scurvy is avoidable
-Don't shout "oh shit" and wave your arms. It will only encourage the herd of cows to come your way
-Don't e-mail your mentor repeatedly about a project when you're on pain meds post wisdom tooth removal. It will not end well.
-If you're climbing an active volcano and your guide starts running, you should probably start running too

Please add your wisdom to the list. Yay graduation.