I'm sure some of you have already heard these, and others don't appreciate Chuck Norris in all his glory, but for you red-blooded Americans who are in the dark, I have linked some of the legends about America's greatest hero. There are more out there if you are so inclined.
My favorites:
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
10 comments:
Fucking Chuck Norris...
Yeah, I hope you're all happy now.
I also like the fact about Chuck Norris and horses.
Each of those made me laugh.
That's the best list ever. Ben, I challenge you to a Get A Fact On The Chuck Norris List duel.
I already said that one, Pat.
that's so bizarre.
I am going to make a confession and do try not to stone me. I have never heard of this man until now.
Apparently by Nancy's reaction I should have:(20:42:36) Nancy: what?? that's the craziest thing i've ever heard. you get the crazy award for today
Chuck Norris: Real American Hero
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did. :-D
http://www.4q.cc/chuck/
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