Extremeatude, or It was bound to come up someday

Okay, something that really pisses me off: Albertsons has a promotion it is there X-treme value buy of the week. Basically, they put some shit that they can't sell at the end of the checkstand, mark it down from their usual 500% mark-up, to a respectable price, basically, a price that Winco would sell stuff at. Well, they call it extreme, and force the cashiers to pitch the shit, which is usually some crap like pop-tarts, or tampons, (seriously, we actually did toilet paper, the cashiers ended up insulting every customer that happened by) Okay, honestly, what the f*** is so extreme about selling food and toilettries? This just pisses me off. The only thing that is really extreme is football, in all of its various forms. And my new series of sporting events, which include full-contact cross-country, track, swimming, and my favorite, diving. Basically, you just run, or swim, or whatever, but only this time, you can kick the shit out of each other! Especially, the water events, drownings would be a common occurance. And, of course, I would kick ass at it. I ended up being in the top 5 among linemen at the 3 mile, which is the distance that cross country runs. You really think that Maag could withstand a horrible beating? Probably, (Dugoni managed to pull off a tackle on Fri, and if he survives Centrury, who goes after kickers with a vengance my faith in the little man will be affirmed) but still, it'd be a good race, as it is, our x-country team is too good as it is. I mean 4th in the nation, WTF? You would also be taking the worst spectator sport in history, running, and suddenly its more like wrestling, or like the most kick-ass sport ever, which is of course rugby. Which also happens to be the most seriously gay sport in existance. If you ever actually watch a game, you'll realize there is a lot of weird touching, pulling, and sticking your head in places that it really doesn't belong. And don't get me started about rugby teams sleeping in hotels almost totally unsupervised. Those glorious pictures still allude me, but I someday hope to get what would be the greatest contibution to art in the history of the earth. Okay, fine gay art. If you haven't heard the whole story, i'll be happy to discribe, in graphic detail, the happenings of that fine, fine weekend. (Warning! This narrative involves beer, urine, air-soft guns, cross-dressing, gay sex, and photography)